
We’ve all heard of the “mum bubble”—that cosy, familiar world where life revolves around nap schedules, snack times and the daily demands of the little ones we love. It’s a place filled with quiet joys, but one that can also feel all-encompassing, leaving little room for the person you were before. This is part of matrescence, the transformative journey of becoming a mother, which, like adolescence, comes with emotional and physical upheavals.
Understanding that this transition is a natural and evolving process can help you embrace your new identity with more compassion. So, how do you burst the mum bubble a little and reconnect with your pre-motherhood self, without guilt or being overwhelmed? Here are some tips to help you find balance and rediscover your identity:
1. Embrace ‘Me Time’—It’s Not Selfish!

Taking time for yourself can come with a tinge of guilt, but it’s crucial to remember: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Start with small steps. Whether it’s a coffee break, a quiet walk, or even a solo supermarket run, these little pockets of time can help you recharge. Remind yourself that a happy, fulfilled mum creates a happier home. Treat “me time” like a doctor’s appointment—schedule it, and don’t skip it.
2. Reconnect with Old Passions

Think back to the hobbies you enjoyed before becoming a mum. Whether it was painting, reading, or something else, revisiting these interests can help you feel like “you” again. Dust off those art supplies or finish that book you’ve started three times already. You can also combine your passions with motherhood—host a mini dance party if you love music, or have a storytelling session with your child. It’s a way to share your joy, while also rediscovering it.
3. Ask for Help (and Accept It)

Asking for help can feel daunting, but sharing the load with your partner, family, or friends doesn’t diminish your supermum status. In fact, it allows you to create space for yourself. Build a support network or arrange a weekly childcare swap with a fellow mum. This not only gives you a break but also fosters meaningful connections.
4. Pursue Personal Goals

Motherhood may feel like it puts everything else on pause, but pursuing personal goals, big or small, can give you something to look forward to. Whether it’s taking an online course, starting a project, or setting a fitness target, these steps can be deeply rewarding. Start small—even just ten minutes a day toward a goal can add up to something significant over time.
5. Reconnect with Your Partner

It’s easy to put your relationship on the back burner, but taking the time to reconnect can remind you that you’re a team. Plan a date night, or set aside time for a chat after the kids are in bed. You don’t need grand gestures; sometimes, sharing a meal without interruptions or watching a favourite show together is enough to strengthen your bond.
6. Rejoin (or Find) Your Village

The mum bubble can be isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. Reach out to your “mum tribe“; whether that’s old friends, new mum mates, or online communities. Sharing your experiences with those who understand can offer the support you need. Look beyond mum groups and explore hobbies or activities that connect you with others outside the world of parenting.
7. Honour Your Transition

The journey into motherhood is a profound transformation, not just a change in responsibilities. This shift in identity brings both challenges and growth. Embrace this evolving process with patience, knowing that it’s normal to feel different as you navigate your new role. Rather than striving to bounce back to who you were before, allow yourself to grow into who you are becoming. Honour each phase and give yourself grace as you adapt to the physical, emotional, and mental shifts of this stage of life.
8. Learn to Say No

The pressure to do everything—volunteer at school, attend every birthday party, or make Pinterest-worthy snacks—can be overwhelming. It’s okay to say no. Setting boundaries protects your energy, allowing you to focus on what truly matters. Practise saying no in ways that feel comfortable, such as, “I’d love to help, but I can’t commit right now” or simply, “No, thank you.”
9. Celebrate Small Wins

Motherhood isn’t a race; it’s a marathon. Take time to acknowledge the small wins, whether it’s managing a tantrum without losing your cool or enjoying a quiet cup of tea. At the end of each day, reflect on one thing you did for yourself, no matter how small. Every step toward finding yourself again is worth celebrating.
Bursting out of the mum bubble doesn’t mean leaving motherhood behind; it means making space for yourself within it. Matrescence is a journey, not a destination, and it’s natural to feel a bit lost as you grow into your new identity. By embracing small acts of self-care, reconnecting with your passions, setting boundaries, and honouring the changes you’re experiencing, you’ll gradually find your way back to yourself. Each step you take, no matter how small, is progress toward a more balanced and fulfilled version of you. So, be kind to yourself and embrace the incredible person you are becoming!
By Irni Juliana
Irni is an accidental scribe whose writing reflects her delightful, haphazard prose. When she’s not reading novels or solving Sudoku puzzles, she’s juggling a myriad of roles: giggle jester, snuggle bug, and seeker of toys that don’t exist. Ever the all-rounder, she’s constantly searching for magic in the mundane.