The best advice if you’re expecting twins will come from parents who have been there and are still doing it.
You will probably be given a lot of advice as your baby bump gets bigger. All of it comes from a good place. But not all of it will be applicable if you’re expecting twins. To parent twins, you need to modify the advice you get from parents with singletons because trust me IT IS different.
A Third Adult
Try, and we sincerely mean try, because we know it’s not an option for some, to have a third adult to help.
“For me that was the key to my survival,” says Dasa William, mum to twin girls. “We had my mum staying for seven months and we had a live-in maid after she left.”
The extra set of hands will ultimately help you get some rest, because it will be a gruelling first few months (and then some!).
Let me stress on the ‘help’
If this is not possible, try and ask if someone can drop in even for a couple of hours.
Another twin mum said she had a helper (who was also a friend) drop in for four hours every day just so she could do ‘basic’ stuff like leave the bedroom and have some cookies and Milo.
Stick to a Schedule
Try your hardest to set a routine in place as soon as the babies are home. Melissa Ram-Kanavaji agrees there must be a schedule to follow which includes same nap time, feeding time and play time.
I couldn’t agree more. It will be tough in the beginning but press on. When one eats, it’s time for the other to as well. It’s really the only way to stay a little sane in the beautiful chaos unfolding.
Your first few months will be a total epic blur as you battle dire sleep loss and crying babies, so tracking everything will be essential. I remember using a small whiteboard (purchased from Tesco) and a marker to note my twins’ feeding times every single day.
Tandem nursing or feeding two babies at once not only sounds challenging but looks challenging. I personally did not tandem feed my babies but tonnes of other twin mums have.
“Invest in a good breastfeeding pillow that will allow you to tandem feed and keep your babies propped up after,” says Nisha Jeya Krishnan.
Aini Hayati Abdul Rahim concurs, saying her breastfeeding was taken to the next level when she used the My Brest Friend twin nursing pillow. “It helped me tremendously with my posture, back and hand muscles and interestingly enough freed up my hand to browse the net!”
Do you put the babies in your room or in their own room? In our case, we put them in their own room in the same cot for the first two to three months and then in their own cots. However, there were times they roomed in with us. So do think about this and do what works best for you.
Don’t spend too much on the fancy ones. “An umbrella twin stroller that you can recline flat for storage is enough. Don’t buy into the expensive ones which can be a pain to unfold. Plus you would only need this for three years,” says Clare Wong, mum to five-year-old twin girls.
Hubby & You
This will be the best adventure of your lives (having twins) but might also be the bumpiest. Talk to each other about the expectations of how much the husband can help out with. Go from there.
“A husband needs to do everything a mother can except breastfeed! He is an equal parent,” says Cynthia Sequerah Thompson, mum to four-year-old twin girls Hazel and Sophie.
Connecting with Other Twin Mums
Enter the fabulous fantastic Facebook group exclusively for mums of twins and triplets known as Twins & Triplets Malaysia. It is the ultimate best resource for any mums or future mums of multiples. Do join if you’re not part of it and get connected to all other mums going through what you are. We promise the good and not-so-good of parenting twins/triplets.
“Check into a confinement centre especially if you’ve had a rough delivery. Comes with a hefty price tag though,” offers Clare Wong.
“Give in to using the pacifier or rocker if needed. Just do what it takes to get some rest,” says Lowen, mum to nine-month-old boys Dylan and Ayden.
“Get them to sleep early from infancy, and it will allow mum some ‘me’ time at the end of the day,” says Sumitha Sekar, mum to two-year-old twin boys.
And bonus tip: “ Be kind to yourself through the process, it will get harder before it ever gets easier,” say all the mothers in the world.
You can also explore this article written by a fellow twin mum on her tips to surviving breastfeeding twins.
It Does Get Better
Having twins is hard as fudge. It can get extremely challenging and it can triple my need for wine. But I will always remember that their greatest gift is having each other.
By Hemala Devaraj
Hema loves spending time in the kitchen trying out new recipes. Together with her hubby she is parenting twins and living in beautiful chaos every day.