Let me start my story with this one confession – all my life, my biggest insecurity has always been my weight.
It started as early as my teenage years. Back then, I was active in sports and that helped me manage my weight well. The sports stopped when I entered university and my weight soared up the scales and I gained almost 10 kilograms.
I did whatever I could to shed the weight, even to the extent of signing up for slimming programme with my very limited financial resources.
A few years later, I was back at a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI). Then, I got married and conceived. My pre-pregnancy weight was probably around 58-59 kilograms, and by the time I gave birth, I had gained almost 15 kilograms.
I knew that gaining weight was perfectly normal with pregnancy. It felt like I had a license to eat and gain weight. My usual excuse was “It’s OK, I was eating for two”. I think I had it all wrong.
After I gave birth, I immediately lost 10 kilograms. That was good news, but the last five kilograms was as stubborn as ever. Perhaps the best way was to embrace my own postpartum body, instead of burying myself in misery. The problem is it made me feel unhealthy, fatigued and constantly bloated. Clearly, it was not doing any good to my physical or mental health.
I could not fit almost all of my pre-pregnancy clothes. I remembered sobbing the night before I started my first day of work after my maternity leave. I was miserable with my body image, had sleepless nights and struggling with the separation anxiety with my newborn.
A year went by and the last five kilograms were still around. I found myself signing up for a slimming program again. To be honest, it worked. But, it burnt a huge hole in my pocket and the weight came back not long after I ended the treatment. There was no way I could continue with the maintenance program. The cost was just so ridiculous.
At that point of time the five kilograms went away, but it came back in a blink of an eye. So it was not really a success story.
Even after two years, they were still there. Just when I thought that I was about to run out of options, I made a discovery. Actually, it was more of a rediscovery. I guess I was too eager with getting fast results, I forgot the ultimate key to losing weight – the amount of calories that goes in and out of my body and how I manage it.
Eating Healthily
This was the biggest culprit – I wasn’t eating healthily. With that I mean greasy breakfasts, heavy lunches and dinners, with little fibre and natural foods like fruits and vegetables. So I started revising my diet plan, not by cutting off my meals, but by eating more real food. I admit that it got boring after a while, but I kept it going by adding variety and occasional cheat days (I still allow myself to enjoy some fried noodles or nasi lemak). I started to cut down my consumption on processed and fast foods. I saw results not long after – the bloated and unhealthy feeling went away. I definitely felt a lot better.
Exercising
At first, exercising sounded very impossible to me. How in the world was I supposed to find time to exercise when I’m busy with work and tending a toddler? It took me a while to realise that it was doable. It was only a matter of priority and planning.
I didn’t start big. I aimed for small chunks of my time every day. No fancy equipment required, all I needed was an iPad and a way to occupy my toddler for at least 20 minutes every afternoon. I searched for a cardio and toning video on YouTube and started to exercise in my own living room. As expected, my toddler would occasionally look for me and ask for my attention, but I figured an interrupted 10-20 minutes exercise every day is always better than none.
The sweat and feel-good hormones changed me. I’ve not lost any significant weight, but it turned me into a more positive person. I felt a lot lighter, my attitude towards my body changed and I was finally able to embrace my postpartum body with ease.
Losing those five kilograms eventually seemed like such a minute thing to me, the positive attitude lifted the pressure off my chest for good.
Six months later, I stepped on the scales and the last five kilograms were gone. There I was, smiling to myself and bidding the kilograms goodbye. I didn’t see it coming, but it sure gave me a very pleasant surprise.
From that moment I knew I should stop being so worried about my weight. What really matters is keeping myself healthy by changing my lifestyle for good – eating well and sweating it out.
With that I find myself ready for another pregnancy. The weight gain doesn’t scare me anymore, because I know if I keep myself fit and healthy, the last five kilograms would never dare to come and haunt me again.
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Ayuni is a mum to an effervescent three-year-old daughter. She’s currently juggling motherhood and a full-time job while trying to be the next domestic goddess. She blogs about life, parenting and her homemaking endeavours at Mommy Confessionals.
Image credit: Beach Baby Fit
