I am so blessed to have friends at different stages of their lives. Some are mothers, some are pregnant with their first or second child, some are newlyweds and some are still searching for ‘the one’.
Whenever I hear them say that they would like to have children by the time they’re ‘x’ years old, I always remind them that you cannot plan these things. All of us who have children know that the word ‘plan’ automatically flies out the window the second we hear that we are going to have a baby.
I thought I would continue dancing while I was pregnant. I imagined lying on a beach during my babymoon in a bikini showing off my bump. I thought that I would be in Mothercare everyday shopping for cute baby outfits for the little one. But my doctor deemed my pregnancy as high risk so I wasn’t allowed to do any of those things.
My darling mother was so excited she bought clothes for the babies and I didn’t get to buy a single outfit for them till last December, when they were over a year old.
I pictured myself having a perfect breastfeeding journey. Truth is, I didn’t enjoy it at all. The pumping, the latching, the sitting around attached to a machine for 20 minutes three times a day, the hard lumps in my breasts, the engorgement, the leaking – the list goes on. I did the best that I could and managed to mix my feeds between expressed milk and formula. My twin son had a slight aversion to my twin daughter’s milk so they had to drink different brands of formula.
I wanted to be the mother who was everywhere with her babies. In the newest café in Bangsar having a fancy breakfast wearing my babies and living the life.
Now, I can’t even imagine planning a holiday without having a slight panic attack.
I wanted to be the mother who only feeds organic food to my babies but I am the mother who feeds them a French fry just so that they can be occupied for five minutes.
I wanted to be the mother who throws the best birthday parties, complete with invitation cards and a matching cake; but I was the mother that threw a first birthday party for my friends and I, while the kids so happened to have a play date.
Even though I am nothing like the perfect mom I pictured myself to be, I feel far from disappointed.
I am stronger and more relaxed than I have ever been, and know for a fact that I couldn’t have done a better job.
The twins are a year and a half now and their personalities are starting to shine and they are wonderful children, which is a pure reflection of my husband and my decisions – and I am glad to say that we have made the right ones, always.
Throw your parenting books aside and go with your gut, always. I say it time and time again, Mother always knows best. I mean, remember when we were teenagers and our moms always knew what we were up to? Exactly!
–
Related Posts:
 |
My Story: Things I Wish I Knew about Motherhood |
 |
How Should We Talk to Non-Parent Friends about Being a Mother? |
–
January Low, recent mother of twins, takes each day as it comes – because no parenting book could have prepared her for this!
