While some mothers sail through their confinement / post-delivery period, I didn’t find it smooth sailing at all. I had a lot of problems; Baby Dozer needing to be readmitted for jaundice, breastfeeding issues, exhaustion, unreliable confinement lady, struggling to cope with traditional confinement methods, etc.
Now that things have settled down somewhat, I look back at it all and can’t help but think, “I wish someone had told me that.”
Today’s post was written in the hopes that if you’re a new mother or an expecting mother reading this, you won’t have to go through the same pains that I did.
Here are 10 things I wish I’d known back then:
1. Swaddled baby
I was terribly hot and sweaty during confinement (most likely from all the ginger consumed) so I assumed Baby Dozer was feeling hot too. I decided not to swaddle him in case he over-heated. Wrong move. On hindsight, I wish I’d swaddled him more. Perhaps he would have slept better and probably felt safer. I recall how he seemed to cry a lot and I just assumed that babies do cry a lot.
2. Slept more
I rebelled against the idea of sleeping when Baby Dozer slept. I tried to do it but often felt frustrated that I was wasting my time sleeping. Reality check! I needed that sleep badly especially when Baby Dozer was feeding every two hours throughout the day and night. Confinement period equals to doing nothing but feed baby, eat and sleep!
3. Covered baby thoroughly whenever we went out
Yes, I had to bring Baby Dozer back to hospital for checks during confinement and I should have bundled him up and probably swaddled him for good measure. There’s definitely no scientific proof but I wonder if I could have avoided his colicky and very tumultuous period if I’d been more cautious about bundling him up despite the hot Malaysian weather. By bundling him up, I mean wearing a beanie to prevent the “wind” from entering his body and long sleeves and long shirts.
4. Reduced my cow’s milk intake
With the increasing number of babies being allergic to cow’s milk protein, I should have stopped my milk intake just to be safe. As it turned out, Baby Dozer is indeed allergic to cow’s milk and poor baby had to suffer months of severe rashes before I finally found out.
5. Bundled myself up more
Strangely even though I did feel hot and sweaty constantly throughout my confinement period, there were times when I also felt cold. Old wives’ tales have some truth to them after all and the body is weak after delivery. I should have prepared more long-sleeved tops or at least t-shirts with longer sleeves, socks and house slippers to wear throughout my confinement. Thankfully, my body bounced back pretty quickly and I passed my confinement period rather uneventfully.
6. Gotten a changing table
Towards the end of my confinement, I started to get rather severe backaches, caused by constant bending to change Baby Dozer’s diapers. I would change his diapers on the bed as I didn’t have a proper table to do it. Bad decision. I purchased an IKEA diaper table shortly after he turned 1 month and my only regret was not buying it earlier!
7. Just used diapers
The elderlies advised me to use napkins and nappy liners to save money as baby would be using lots of diapers. “If you have a maid to do washing, why not use napkins?” I heeded their advice and bought A LOT of napkins. Baby Dozer is now 9 months old and I still have at least one box of unused napkins. Why? Within two days of using napkins, I found that it was too messy, baby ended up being soiled and the amount of time spent on washing napkins was just ridiculous.
8. Done away with a confinement lady and gotten a maid
I felt so depressed upon returning from the hospital because Baby Dozer was sleeping with the confinement lady. My mother instinct was screaming, “I want to be in the same room as my baby!” But everyone said I needed the rest. Well, what happened was I could hardly sleep because I was worried and kept going into the confinement lady’s bedroom to check on Baby Dozer. In the end, I had to fire my confinement lady anyway as she wasn’t capable and ended giving the whole family lots of problems.
9. Cuddled baby more
My well-meaning family members warned me ominously that I was going to spoil Baby Dozer with all that cuddling and he was going to get so used to it that I would never be able to put him down in future. WRONG ASSUMPTIONS! If you read a lot of baby advice these days, most articles state that babies can’t be spoilt yet, definitely not when they’re a month old. I can attest to that because only after Baby Dozer turned 4 months did he start to really show signs of trying to get his way. Before that, each cry of his was a genuine cry of NEED and I wish I had hugged him more.
10. Thanked my husband more
I never would have had the privilege of breastfeeding till today had it not been for my husband. He did not understand fully why I wanted to put myself through all that “suffering” but made sure I was able to do it just because I insisted. He would carry Baby Dozer to me because I was so tired, burp baby after we were done, change baby’s diapers, put baby to sleep, fetch me my phone to keep me entertained, dutifully record baby’s feeding times and duration, made sure my mug was full of red date water, etc. – and all this after his full time day job every day!
(Note: This post was originally published in May 2014)
–
Grace wears a couple of hats. She’s first and foremost, a wife and mother to Baby Dozer and Truffle, the Poodle, a management consultant and also founder of Gracious Little Things – a blog aimed at helping fellow parents. Read more articles on her blog or Facebook page.
