Two summer breaks ago, I finally crossed an item from my bucket list.
I went on a solo trip. Yes, I went alone to a country where I didn’t speak the language.
During one of my burnt-out, hectic motherhood days, I decided to just do it. And so, after giving it a quick thought, I booked myself a round-trip ticket to Japan. I had only been there once before, with a friend, but I loved the beautiful island nation and was sure about Japan.
The first phase of the planning was akin to an adrenaline rush. The realisation that I was about to do something I had always wanted to do (combined with thoughts of visiting Japan again) gave me a sense of excitement and sweet anticipation. Suddenly, with a new long list of things to do and places to visit, I wondered if six days there were even enough!
I did all my research diligently, spent hours on the Internet to understand the transportation systems and routes, and recalled the essential things I would need as a visitor. I decided to go for a backpacking-style trip, so I made sure to charter my itinerary and movements carefully. Honestly, I could not wait for the trip to happen.
It was all so exciting!
Having second thoughts
But there were still some hurdles along the way – starting with saying goodbye to my family.
After flying back to Malaysia from our home in Doha for the summer holidays (and settling my kids with their grandparents), my things were packed and I was finally ready for my flight. “I can do this!” I told myself, as I picked up my bags, kissed my kids and bored them one last time with warnings and advice about behaving themselves.
My firstborn seemed nonchalant but wished me the best, while my second and third insisted on following their grandpa to send me to the train station. “Uh, this is not good,” I thought to myself, hesitating. And then, the inevitable happened.
As expected, my clingiest, youngest child started crying when he realised that I was leaving. Thankfully, promises of Transformers and Pokemon figurines calmed him down. Once the goodbyes were managed, I was off!
“Here’s to an adventure!” I wished myself silently.
A bumpy beginning
Alas, my flight was delayed that night and turned into a red-eye flight. Amid the jumble of feelings – out-of-control, frustration, excitement, anticipation – I almost ditched my plans to run back home.
I hadn’t even left the soil of my homeland, but already, I felt homesick. I swear that most of it was “missing-my-children”-sickness and a sudden overwhelming feeling about what I was going to do without them. I didn’t know if that even made sense, but all I wanted was to run back into the arms of my children and the chaotic life of my motherhood. But I pressed on.
The next morning, I arrived at Narita International Airport safely. Alone, nervous, but quite ready.
“Snap out of it, Ayuni! It’s time to explore now!” I scolded myself. Thank God I came to my senses and enjoyed every minute of my trip, wholeheartedly in all its glory.
What I learned from my solo travels
Early in my travels I had to grapple with my resistance to change – that strong, natural urge to keep myself safe in my comfort zone. With age, I had thought myself capable of breaking out of that bubble. But perhaps, the truth was that (just like with any other changes in life), it was always going to be a challenging process.
I learned a lot from this solo travel. Most of all, it was about discovering myself, learning my limits, recognising the amazing things I am capable of, and cherishing the moments that were mine alone.
I learned that I can only go up to five days on my own before starting to feel lonely. I realised that I am resourceful and capable of navigating a foreign place to survive. I savoured every quiet moment that I got, from sitting quietly in nature to taking my own sweet time browsing the shops – and even showering in leisure!
Besides that, as a solo female traveller, here are some practical things I learned along the way:
1. Build your itinerary meticulously and share it with a spouse, friend or someone you trust
Take as much time you need to research and build your itinerary, from the time of departure to the time of return. Research all your routes, accommodation and transportation options, and book early wherever possible. Have a backup plan in case things do not work out and most importantly, share these plans with the closest person to you.
2. Prepare yourself and keep yourself informed
My phone, a good Internet plan, a fully-charged powerbank, some cash, my passport, and at least two credit cards – these are the crucial things I always carry in my bag, whenever I move about. I made sure to install all the important apps in my phone, including those for weather updates and disaster alerts (Japan has an excellent app for this), as well as Google Translate and Google Maps to keep information literally at my fingertips.
3. Go with the safer choice, all the time
Always go with the safer choice and follow your instincts. For example, if you are arriving in a country late at night, consider checking in the airport hotel, instead of venturing immediately into the city to find your hotel. I sent my location to my husband as I moved about from one place to another, to keep him updated on my whereabouts. I also steered clear of dodgy areas, and made a point to be back at my hostel before 8pm everyday.
4. Learn the language and be brave in connecting with people
There’s no need to master the new language of your destination country, but learning a few basic phrases is a must to help you navigate and connect with local people, who can be very welcoming and helpful. Don’t be afraid to say hi or to ask for help whenever you need it (from locals or fellow travellers). Be courteous and open yourself up to connecting to new people and learning a new thing or two about their culture. It’s part of travelling, after all!
A journey of discovering myself
My solo travels showed me a life so calm and different from that of my usual hectic one as a mother. Ironically, it also made me realise that I did miss my ordinary life, in spite of the chaos, which made me appreciate my existence as a mum even more! Towards the end, all I wanted was just to get back home safely to my children – while also appreciating how much I had grown as an individual.
Solo travelling might not be for everyone, but if it is something that you are inclined to do, I’d suggest you go for it! You’ll discover a lot of things about yourself and with the right perspective and preparation, it could turn into one of the best trips of your life.
Ayuni is a freelance writer and mother of three bubbly children. She enjoys listening to people and writing about their stories, hoping to spread inspirational vibes whenever she can. When not writing, she’s busy running the household, watercolouring or writing in her journal.
