My night feedings were predictable in Earthling’s early infancy, with her settling down by nine o’clock and sleeping for four hours straight before stirring for her first feeding. Most nights her feedings had been peaceful and her next rousing would usually be four more times before she’d be ready for a new day.
Although I had mostly been satisfied with my night tasks, I still yearned for eight hours of uninterrupted sleep as life used to be before motherhood. I no longer sleep through the night since the second trimester of my pregnancy. When I heard about my friend’s baby sleeping through the night at three months old, I thought that was such a marvel and was anticipating the night Earthling would do the same.
By her fifth month, one night Earthling had remained wide awake after her bedtime feeding and just rolling in her cot. I turned on her musical mobile toy for her entertainment, but to my surprise she was soon fast asleep on her own. I secretly congratulated myself on reaching this huge milestone.
Another night, we brought Earthling out for the day, and by the time we were back at night, she was so exhausted she slept for six hours straight before rousing for her first night feeding which was closer to morning actually. I couldn’t conceal my excitement for another step closer to my long-time target of sleeping through the night.
What I didn’t realise was how wrong I was. Instead of seeing less frequent night wakings, I was soon greeted by an abrupt and hugely increased frequency. For a few nights in sequence, Earthling would unsettle every half hour, which I dutifully noted down. Even more frustrating was the fact that she was agitated and unable to go back to sleep whether on her own or with peaceful feeding. At one time I even had to wake my husband up to take over the shift as I was at my wits end.
As time went on, this sleep pattern recurred every one or two months, particularly when my husband was outstation or when Earthling got back from visiting her grandparents. It was only eight months into motherhood when I realised that I was experiencing sleep regression without knowing about it in advance.
Frankly the knowledge only explained what was happening, but not how to prevent or solve it. Unfortunately, there’s no solution to a few nights of disrupted sleep for baby and mother – it’s part and parcel of growing up. Sleep regression usually coincides with growth spurts, or sometimes a change in environment especially if you have a sensitive baby. And the baby’s state of mind is likened to someone on the eve of her wedding or about to start an exciting vacation.
The most amusing sleep regression incident thus far was when Earthling was learning to pronounce ‘pa-pa’ at eight months old. One night, after spending much effort putting her to bed, we were lying on the bed to catch our breaths when we were exasperated to hear her voice out of the blue. But then the sound of ‘pa-pa’ was so euphonious that we just stayed lying down to revel in it all.
Upon discovering the noble fact of sleep regression, I understood my baby’s state of mind better, and had less expectations on her supposed developmental milestones. The baby’s sleep pattern is not a linear graph but more like a sinusoidal wave, with ups and downs all the time. So I was no longer enthusiastically aiming for sleeping through the night but merely letting things take their natural course. One day it will just happen.
While writing this, I learned of yet another new thing. Sleeping through the night is not to be expected even for adults! Bi-modal sleep was the norm before the 17th Century, our ancestors used to sleep for four hours and then stayed awake for one to two hours before plunging into another portion of four hour sleep. Instead of messing up my sleep pattern, my pregnancy hormones actually gave me a throwback to bi-modal sleep without my knowing it. So I might even stop wishing to sleep through the night myself. Indeed there is new knowledge to be gained every day in the journey of parenthood.
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Ai Sin is an engineer and a trainer, who has an affinity for artistic and musical stuff. She is a mother to a toddler and dances to keep her balance. She is working for Go Training and sometimes brings her toddler to work as Marissa Mayer and Licia Ronzulli do.
Image Credit: Flickr user Tamaki Sono
