The first flight you take with your baby is always the scariest. In our case, Alex was eight months old and we were packed to the brim with everything but the kitchen sink for the worst case scenarios. Contrary to all expectations, of course, the flight went smoothly. You know what they say about beginner’s luck!
We flew a lot in the next six months, including very long flights back to Malaysia as well as short-haul ones within the continent. I remember my legs crying out in pain from having a baby lying across my husband’s and my thighs for hours. At a certain point, it became so unbearable that we laid Alex down on our chairs, my husband looked for a free seat elsewhere, and I squeezed into the tiny space on the floor between my seat and the one in front, which was no easy feat. It was uncomfortable and cold, but mercifully, it was a place to rest.
On another trip, Alex did an epic poo, the kind that rides up the back of a baby’s onesie, right in the beginning of the first leg of a long journey. We had to strip him naked and wash him down in an airplane lavatory while he screamed in protest, and then carried the soiled clothes for the next 20 hours in a plastic bag. I was half-tempted to throw it away.
I think the worst experience was when our flight was delayed for an hour and we had to stay strapped in when he was at his crankiest and we couldn’t soothe him by walking around and bouncing him up and down. That was 45 minutes of howling that stopped as soon as the plane’s engines roared to life and we took off. I won’t forget that anxiety anytime soon.
But what I didn’t realise is that, actually, travelling with an infant or baby who isn’t yet a toddler is much easier in some ways. If you’re breastfeeding, you can nurse them when they’re whiny or to put them back to sleep. You can carry them and walk them up and down the aisle if they’re fussy. They sleep a lot more. And when they’re awake they’re gurgling and looking around, but they’re not a dynamo of constant activity.
A toddler requires different preparation. Here’s what I do with Alex:
Food
I carry boxes of juice, fruit purees, crackers, cut-up pieces of fruit, ham and cheese, chocolate biscuits and little croissants to whip out at any point. My attitude isn’t to give him a balanced diet at regular times, but to make sure he stays hydrated and fed.
Toys
We used to let him carry his little bag of matchbox cars and play with the cars in his seat, but now only let him have this as a last resort, because it’s a pain to keep retrieving dropped cars or bothering other passengers to get them. I always make sure to have some old toys he hasn’t seen in a while, or new toys to be used in emergency situations. Make sure these are well hidden away. The worst thing that can happen is that these pop out when you’re rummaging in your bag for something else. Stickers are handy, particularly a large sheet of small stickers which take ages to unstick!
Clothes
You’ll obviously pack extra for your toddler but don’t forget yourself and your spouse too. I usually carry a lightweight dress for myself and a T-shirt for my husband in case there are huge messes, as well as a black shawl if any of us get cold and the blankets aren’t warm enough. I’ve also used those shawls as sheets when the seat covers look a bit dodgy.
iPad
I’ve written before about my conflicting feelings about using the iPad when we’re out and about, but when it comes to air travel, a tablet is indispensable when you can’t logically reason with a toddler about the necessity of staying buckled in his seat during take-off and landing (yes, I ignore the no electronics rule) or when you want a break from following your toddler up and down the aisles.
Medicine
Especially on long flights, I bring a bottle of fever medicine just in case he suddenly gets a high temperature. Don’t forget your thermometer too.
Sitting at the Back of the Plane
I prefer this for a few reasons. One, you’re further away from most of the plane, so if your toddler is being whiny or loud, it affects fewer people. Two, I stuff the bottoms of the seats in front of us with bags so that if Alex drops anything, it won’t roll forward, and if it rolls back, there are one or two rows to go searching for those things. Also, those one or two rows in front of and behind us are usually empty or sparsely peopled. Three, it’s near the toilets. Four, it’s near the galley, so if he’s getting restless, it’s an area he can wander around a bit, and most flight attendants are tolerant of toddlers.
Avoiding Queues
Where possible, check in beforehand and use your “I have a baby” international gestures to skip ahead at the security checks, immigration, all of it. Some airports are more amenable to this than others. Don’t feel bad about this at all if you can jump the queue. It saves everyone around us the annoyance of a toddler who doesn’t want to stand patiently in a queue. On the other hand, we wait for most people to board the plane before we get on. It’s going to be a cooped-up space for a number of hours anyway, so why prolong it? We let him run around the departure lounge for as long as possible before we get on.
I think the most important thing to equip yourself with is the awareness and acceptance that travel time is not routine, so don’t let yourself get stressed about what time or what junk your toddler is eating, how much they’re sleeping, how much screen time they’re getting, or how much more you’re giving into his demands than usual. It’s all about getting from point A to point B with as little discomfort (for the toddler, the parents and other passengers) as possible. If you encounter other passengers who show disapproval or even reprimand you, ignore them. By the same token, don’t allow your child to kick the seats or wander unsupervised, annoying other people.
Before you know it, they’ll be old enough to wear headphones and amuse themselves on their personal entertainment screen, and you can go back to eating and sleeping in (relative) peace again.
That’s what I’m hoping anyway!
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Uma is a Malaysian working mum with a French husband and a toddler named Alex living in their fourth country together.
Image credit: Flickr user Emerille
