My firstborn, Aidan, celebrated his second birthday recently with a party at home. As we waved our last guests goodbye, we were left with a mound of gifts on our coffee table.
We unwrapped them over the course of a few weeks, wanting to prolong the novelty of new-ness. But as we added more things to Aidan’s sizeable pile of toys, it occurred to me how big his waste footprint has become. This party alone gave him two different sets of toy trains, which couldn’t be fitted into the one he already had. And as he played with his new Dusty Crophopper, his old Lightning McQueen favourite sat in his toy chest untouched.
I felt sad for the abandoned toys. And guilty from how much environmental damage one little boy could create, albeit unknowingly. I thought about how his toys were made – from how oil was mined in the Middle East and sent to China to be manufactured into plastic and subsequently toys; from there boxed in more plastic and transported all over the world in planes, ships and trucks to warehouses and supermarkets; picked up by a well-meaning friend to be taken to a checkout counter, wrapped and put into another plastic bag, driven over to our house for its packaging to be tore open and discarded and its contents enjoyed for a few months before ending up in the corner forgotten. And where they would it go from here – if broken, most likely a landfill. It’s sad and I’m guilty.
It was that point when I thought about how consuming children are and traced it back to how we’re responsible for making them so. The last thing I want is for my children to identify themselves, and more dangerously identify other people, with the things they have. Consumerism isn’t just wasteful; it creates a classist society that is prejudiced and unfair.
A walk down the aisle in the toyshop would tell you how children are being defined by their spending capacity. I realised how predatory advertising and commercialism is and how harmful it can be to children who can’t differentiate between a TV programme and a commercial until the age of 12 and are prone to accept that advertising messages as truthful, accurate and unbiased. And kids are easy targets – put candy at their eye level and it’ll create a demand that wasn’t there before.
Consider the rising rates of adolescent obesity and how young children grow up recognising brands more than they know the names of plants. Think about the positive messages crafted around the idea of drinking and sex or the manipulative views defining body image, beauty and perfection. Very simply, the precept of consumerism and corporate capitalism dictates that social good comes through subtle greed and meeting demands of people.
Needless to say, I had a paradigm shift that day.
My husband and I agreed to give away one of his trains – the one we bought for him, so we don’t offend the gift-givers – and bring one home to Malaysia to put at his grandparents’ house. We’ve banned screen time entirely and have stopped buying toys.
I’m looking for more and more ways to deconsumerise my kids. My eldest for now is only a toddler, so my guiding principles are for that age group and they include:
1. Starting Early
No child is too young to be aware of a social construct. Choose age-appropriate toys that develop their creativity, imagination and problem-solving abilities. Motivate them to favour social activities over passive entertainment. Build in communal sensibilities as opposed to self-centrism. Don’t explicitly shield them from any social reality.
2. Leading by Example
Participate in the community and let your children watch and take part. De-clutter, practice minimalism at home and guide your words, actions and reactions towards kindness. Demonstrate a positive view of your own self-image and limit your screen time to private quarters. Discuss ideas, opinions and the news in their presence. Choose to make, borrow or swap before buying. And if you have to buy, show them how to buy smartly.
3. Advocate and Communicate
Get educated; join a community of similar-thinking parents and share ideas within your own social circles. Host play dates at home or shared spaces instead of the mall or restaurants. At birthdays, tell guests you’d prefer clothes, books, activity games or donations to charity over toys.
As someone who grew up in a capitalist culture, it’s hard to break my own habits of consumption. But more than ever, it’s becoming more important now to rethink our addictions and dependencies on buying that have led to a very resource-stretched world that’s reaching its breaking point. My challenge is to teach my children to live the simple life instead of being constantly hungry with this insatiable desire for more.
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Khairun is a mum to two kids and owner of Recovr Resources Sdn Bhd, a growing social enterprise in the recycling and equal employment industry. She and her family are currently living in Jakarta.
Image Credit: Fine Art America
