fbpx

5 Good Reasons to Drop that Working Mother Guilt

Greetings from Bali! This working mum is on holiday (at last). Baby Dozer is enjoying himself tremendously and we adults are too. The weather is perfect – it’s sunny yet not hot and the wind breeze is refreshingly cool. August is perfect for Bali!

Tonight I’m writing about the working mum’s dilemma. I often find myself in this trap: moaning about how unlucky I am to NEED to work instead of just staying home to take care of Baby Dozer. I feel guilty about not spending more time with Baby Dozer. I feel sad that I’m not there to witness his first crawl, his first time standing and more firsts. I feel horrible when he’s unwell and I’m unable to cuddle him.

Well, guess what? If I continue like this, I’ll be in for a lot of Ds. Demotivated, demoralised, dejected, depressed and… for more “Ds”, please refer to your dictionary.

Nobody has any obligation to motivate me and make me happy except myself! So, today’s write-up is a good reminder to myself about why being a working mother is a good thing!

1. Paid lessons, except that I’m not the one getting paid
Working with colleagues and getting told off by bosses and clients actually DOES translate into something good (usually). The aftermath is some self-reflection and self-improvement. Also, I realise that I usually become more self-aware and mindful of how my actions impact others… and it spills over positively into my home life! So, I’m actually getting life lessons for free. No, actually I’m getting PAID for those lessons.

2. Enforced balance for both Mummy and baby
I have friends who tell me, “I always wished my mum was a working mum. More freedom for me!” Then there are other friends who tell me, “I always wished my mum was a housewife.”

Contradictory, no? Well, this only tells me one thing:

Balance is important.

Whether we’re stay-at-home mums or working mums, it’s important to balance the time we spend with our kids and our own quiet time so that both mother and child get a break from each other. I have something else to confess. There are days when I actually look forward to work, because work ironically is my BREAK!

3. Staying relevant without (much) effort
I took a one-week break from work recently because I was feeling so exhausted. During that one week, I cared for Baby Dozer fully on my own and mostly spent my days at home. When Hubs came home from work, I noticed that my conversation topic with him was, “Baby Dozer this and Baby Dozer that. And the house this and the house that.” Hubs never said anything but I don’t think I was a very interesting wife that week.

I know of many stay-at-home mums who make the effort to stay up-to-date. Well, good news, we working mums can stay relevant just by working because we interact with a variety of people, and certain jobs require us to stay abreast of news!

4. I’m a Contributor, and I’m talking about $$$
By working, I’m helping to ease off a whole lot of financial burden from my husband and I’m accelerating the rate of saving for Baby Dozer! Hey, maybe we could even retire earlier…

5. I get to buy things. Not just for me, but for Baby Dozer. Without needing to ask.
I’m pretty sure all husbands love to make their wives and children happy and generally have no issues with the occasional shopping spree glee. But, let’s be honest, woman-to-woman: I’m sure there were times when you just knew that Hubs wouldn’t agree to this one thing and then…*bing!* you remembered that you had extra cash and could buy it using your OWN funds! After all, sometimes men don’t need to know everything, right? (I hope my hubs isn’t reading this post, by the way.)

To further put things into perspective, one day I saw a group of stay-at-home mums lamenting in one of the Facebook Mummy groups, how they sometimes wished they could work. That was a really interesting conversation and got me realising that at the end of the day, it’s all about balance!

(Note: This post was originally published in August 2014)

Grace wears a couple of hats. She’s first and foremost, a wife and mother to Baby Dozer and Truffle, the Poodle, a management consultant and also founder of Gracious Little Things – a blog aimed at helping fellow parents. Read more articles on her blog or Facebook page.

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe to our email newsletter today to receive updates on the latest news, tutorials and special offers!