Dads are killing it these days. Gone are the days of being disengaged, uninvolved and undervalued. Today, dads are changing diapers – which, according to our parents, is completely unheard of. But what does it really mean to be a good dad in 2015? I decided to ask five devoted (but very different) fathers what they thought.
“There are a few simple guidelines I conform to every day, and they fall into four areas: Family, well-being, finance, and mistakes. When there’s a new addition to the family, it can affect other members of your immediate family and it’s important to be fair to everyone. Secondly, my family’s happiness is an essential part of our journey. Sometimes we forget to be happy. As for family finances, I believe that it’s about making do with what we have – but of course it would be better to have more! And lastly, I say mistakes because I think it’s important to know what mistakes we can (or can’t) make, and try our best not to make stupid ones! I hope my daughter will one day understand how I’ve tried to be a good dad, and maybe even improve upon my guidelines when she becomes a parent someday.” – Hann Cheah, 35, father of one.
“I used to think being a father meant just providing the best I could. However after my wife passed, I feel like I’m now supposed to be a super dad for my kids. I have to be a judge to settle their problems, a doctor when they get sick, a clown when they need cheering up, a friend all the time and a best friend when they really need to talk to someone. Basically, I’m supposed to be their everything. And now I truly understand what it means to be a mom! It is really not easy and I can’t imagine how my wife did such an amazing job.” – Ray Diaz, 37, father of three.
“Everyone can be a father, but being a good one takes dedication, love and discipline. A good father makes all the difference in a child’s life. He is a friend, a teacher, a protector, role model, disciplinarian and spiritual leader. He’s a pillar of strength, support and discipline. His work is endless and oftentimes, thankless. But in the end, it will show in the sound, well-adjusted children he raises.” – Bernard Hiew, 32, father of one.
“To be honest, I’m away from my kids most of the day because of work. So it’s about making what little time we have with our kids count. But it’s more than just being there physically; it’s being completely present, having real quality time together. As a dad, I’m constantly having to balance being strong and firm, with being sensitive at certain times too.” – Jonathan Hoo, 27, father of one.
“A good dad is one who doesn’t run after his children, but looks after them instead. What I mean by that is, you need to let them experience life the way it is supposed to be – for example, if my eldest daughter falls down, I check to make sure she’s okay, and then I encourage her to get back up and keep running. If she wants to climb up a flight of stairs, I let her go for it (of course I’ll stand watch), because I believe in letting her try things. I don’t stop my girls from experiencing life the way they want to. As a dad, this is something I always try and keep in mind, because I don’t want to build boundaries and restrictions around them at such a young age. That’s one of my biggest responsibilities.” – Adrian Cheah, 31, father of two.
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Michelle Lim-Chua is a mum of two and a copywriter with a special interest in sociology. Born in New York City and raised across six different countries, Michelle loves traveling and is naturally curious about people and their cultures. She moved to Malaysia more than seven years ago, found God and fell in love with a boy from Melaka. Michelle is still learning, along with her husband, how to be a good parent.
Image Credit: Adrian Cheah, Jonathan Hoo, Bernard Hiew, Ray Diaz & Hann Cheah.
