Ever wonder what’s on the mind of a new dad-to-be? Michelle Lim-Chua sat down with Malaysian advertising mogul and first time expectant father Adrian Cheah to find out.
M: You’re expecting your first child this June! You must be so excited, but tell me, what’s going through your head right now? Any pre-baby jitters?
A: Yes, I may seem pretty calm on the outside – but I’m actually very excited about the baby. I’ve actually always liked kids and just the thought of finally having one of our own is the biggest blessing I can imagine. And what with the birth date now less than a month away, there are a million things running through my head right now. I’m borderline thrilled and terrified at the same time, but more thrilled of course! My wife Ange is probably feeling this a hundred times more, but at the same time, I don’t think I’m on a different page in terms of emotions.
I’m also hugely relieved that my daughter Bernadette is almost here. Everyone tells me that it’s the most amazing moment of your life, and I guess I’m waiting to see if that cliché is true and experience it myself for the first time. I’m also feeling very protective and attached to my new baby, maybe because she’s a girl. For example, I’m 100% adamant that she co-sleeps with us, and not with the confinement lady because I just want her to be close to me at night. I didn’t anticipate how strongly I’d feel towards making sure my wife and child are safe.
M: What has been the most enjoyable part of your wife’s pregnancy, and the most difficult?
A: Based on what I’ve observed Ange, going through over the past nine months, I think being a woman is really tough! Having all those ups and downs emotionally as well as physically, I know it’s not easy and I’m so proud of her. She’s amazing, and I’m seriously in awe. I’m sure every couple goes through their own pregnancy journey, but for us there has actually been a lot of joy and have tried to make the most of our last moments as just the two of us.
Personally I’ve enjoyed shopping for the baby and building up the things she’ll need, like her crib, and getting her baby bottles ready. It’s fun to think that Bernadette will be using all of these things soon; something I’ve been imagining for all of nine months now!
M: How you expect having a baby is going to change your life? And do you think you’re ready for it?
A: I could be wrong, but I don’t really think my life will change all that much, is that weird? Of course, there will be a new member of my family, another one to rush home from work to be with at the end of the day! And I’m sure traveling will be a new challenge.
I think I’ve always known that I’d settle down and have a family at a very young age, so in some ways you could say I’ve been prepared for this moment, for a long time. It’s important to me that I can grow with my child, and being only 30 this year – is just perfect. I think a lot of people are more “ready” than they think, and many who aren’t do just great as parents – so I think it’s about being able to adapt.
M: Who is the one person you think you will turn to for parenting advice?
A: Google. And Ange of course…
M: Do you have any advice to give other soon-to-be-expecting dads?
A: Being a good expecting dad and supportive husband requires a lot of patience. I feel like it doesn’t really “hit” men until about month 7 onwards, but it’s something that your wife can feel the other hand may have felt completely overwhelmed at times.
Spend lots of time with your wife and take the time to understand the things she’s going through. Communicate well, make yourself useful, and make her (and the baby) feel like they come first. Find a way to appreciate her for all her “hard work” every day. I’m also naturally a calm person and it’s helped a lot. Basically, if your wife is pregnant right now, make her feel like the most important person in the world.
Advertising mogul Adrian Cheah and his wife Angeline Owee are expecting their daughter Bernadette on the 17th of June.
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Michelle Lim-Chua is a banana born in New York City, who fell in love with a boy from Melaka and became a mama of one.
