The moment you have a baby is the moment you wish you went to medical school. At least that’s how I felt. I sincerely think the most valuable person you could possibly have in your close circle of friends is a doctor. A pediatrician if possible. I had never worried about another human being (even myself) as much I feared and fretted over my son ‘T.rex’. So here’s a list of what I wish I’d known, now that we’ve (safely) made it through the first year.
1. Find a good pediatrician, early
We literally saw three different doctors until we found one we could really trust (Dr Cheah Cheong Wooi). A few were a little too quick to prescribe a little too much medication at the first sign of illness. I’ve learned that the best doctors are actually the ones who prescribe the least.
‘Less is more. So often with children, the less we do, the better. Pediatricians often pride themselves on being smart enough to know when to do… nothing’ writes Wendy Sue Swanson, MD, MBE, FAAP in her book Mama Doc Medicine, Finding Calm and Confidence in Parenting, Child Health, and Work-Life Balance.
Be especially sure about the antibiotics prescribed because not all infections are caused by bacteria. My biggest tip here is to simply ask questions. As many as you like, to get the information you need to make a decision.
2. Trust yourself and observe your child
In the case of a fever, ask yourself, ‘Is he eating, drinking and playing as usual? Is he staying hydrated and sleeping well?’ Sometimes a fever doesn’t need to be treated with acetaminophen (or worse, ibuprofen), but rather just keep an eye on the number of days the fever persists.
I was pretty quick to pump fever suppressant into T.rex’s milk the moment his temperature climbed a single notch above 35 degrees. Not smart. So do your research, and again, ask your doctor if there’s anything else he can suggest to help your child feel better; not just lower his temperature.
3. Know your vaccines
Apparently Malaysian parents (across the board) don’t know enough about immunisations. I’ll admit that I failed to ask the first few doctors we saw during the crucial two, four, and six months of age and therefore didn’t get T. rex fully vaccinated. Don’t make this mistake with your child’s life. Take the time to understand his immunisation schedule, and don’t let medical names like ‘7xPCV’ and ‘DTPa’ intimidate you. Ask your pediatrician what each vaccine protects your child from, and what the risks are (if any).
In my opinion, anyone who can afford to vaccinate, should – not only for the sake of your own child, but also for others around him. The idea is to achieve ‘herd’ immunity from deadly diseases which are preventable in this country and in this day and age.
I know most young parents today are more than willing to spend large amounts of money on entertainment for their children, but don’t consider getting flu shots once a year for the entire family (especially important if your child is cared for outside of the home). Vaccinations up to 9 years of age (HPV for cervical cancer), are extremely important, and we need to start treating them as such.
4. Have good resources on hand
Call me old-school, but I think flipping through a credible book written by a pediatrician who is also a parent – instead of going on Google – is the best way to calm your fears about all the things us mums are constantly in panic about: coughs, flus, ear infections, ‘colic’ – you name it.
The book I highly recommend is The New Basics: A-to-Z Baby & Child Care for the Modern Parent by Michel Cohen MD. A French pediatrician and father based in New York, Dr Cohen’s philosophy is about worrying less, and avoiding unnecessary intervention. I literally lugged his nicely alphabetically-organised volume around the house checking every single ailment or question that came up in the first few months of T.rex’s life. Anytime something came up, no matter how small – we consulted ‘the book’ and found peace of mind in Dr Cohen’s confident and clear advice.
I’ll be honest, most of of the time Dr Cohen tells you to just chill (not in those words). There are many great resources out there by reputable doctors, so get a copy (or 2!) of one you think makes the most sense, before the baby arrives and you start to go completely crazy.
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We all say that our children’s health is the most important thing to us, but don’t always follow through these words with our actions. If like me, you aren’t a doctor (or married to one), you aren’t going to have all the answers… half the time, you won’t even have half of them. But you can start with a conversation with your pediatrician or by picking up a credible resource on children’s health. Arming yourself with the right knowledge will give you both wisdom, and as I’ve found, calm.
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Michelle Lim-Chua is a banana born in New York City, who fell in love with a boy from Melaka and became a mama of one.
Image Credit: Flickr user Ian Wedlock
