Several weeks ago, the issue regarding the new child act that the Minister of Women, Family and Community Development was going to table at parliament was hot on everyone’s lips.
The act was to make caning children as a form of discipline illegal. And so many people started making such a big fuss about it saying that the new act needs to be relooked at.
Apparently, the old archaic adage of ‘sparing the rod and spoiling the child’ still holds true in the 21st century when society is suppose to have matured and developed.
I feel disgusted that in this day and age, adults are still too lazy to think of the welfare of their children and would rather fall back on just hitting to scare them into submission.
After all kinds of research and studies have been done in the field of child psychology, they mean to say that picking up a stick and whacking children is still the best choice.
Now here’s the deal. It doesn’t matter if you hit your child when you are calm with the intention of disciplining him or her and not out of anger and rage.
It is still promoting violence as a means to solve a problem. And this will be ingrained in your child and he or she will start seeing that violence is okay.
Studies have shown that children who go through corporal punishment tend to be bullies among their peers because they see physical hurt as common.
It also teaches the child to fear pain rather than to learn a lesson and to understand that real negative consequences come out of real negative actions.
The child would more likely learn that if he or she can escape and get away from caning, then he has succeeded in his quest rather than learn that he or she has done something wrong.
Caning and hitting children also inflicts psychological and emotional problems in them. They more often suppress their feelings, lack confidence and suffer from inadequate social skills.
Their relationship with their parents suffer and they feel like they have no one to turn to because their main protector and provider is also the one that hurts them.
Sure, the people who are voicing out trying to defend their right to hit children have their reasons too to want to continue hitting children.
One of the most commons reasons is the religious one. Apparently, Islam allows parents to hit their children in order to discipline them and teach them right from wrong.
But let me ask them this question. If it is so Islamic to hit children, then how come the greatest Muslim of all, Prophet Muhammad, is so famously known to have never hit a child in his life?
The other common adult argument for hitting children is that they themselves were caned or hit when they were young and they turned out okay and well-disciplined.
And to this I reply, over half a century ago, smoking was considered okay and there were even advertisements promoting and encouraging people to smoke.
Now, with people being more educated, we know that smoking kills and even cigarette advertisements have been banned. We progress with knowledge.
There are so many better ways to educate and discipline children. One good way that I have found with my four-year-old daughter Athena is to simply talk to her and explain things.
Don’t underestimate their comprehension. You would be amaze to see how they would understand and listen to you when you explain things in their perspective.
Of course, sometimes my patience can run out and a little bit of screaming and yelling happens. Then Athena gets even more stubborn. So even yelling needs to be avoided at all costs.
But I have never resorted to caning or hitting her. My parents never hit me and we have the kind of relationship where I know I can talk to them and turn to them for anything with full confidence.
Parenting and raising children is a big responsibility. If you think that caning and hitting children is the right way to go, then you are most probably not big enough to handle that responsibility.
So I hope the Minister will not give up and that the new child act will be tabled. Its intentions aren’t really to criminalise the act of caning, but to educate parents that there are better ways.
–
Zan Azlee is a multimedia journalist, writer and filmmaker. He specialises in solo-journalism and often reports from conflict zones around the world. He usually succeeds in staying safe and coming home unharmed to his daughter, Athena Azlee, and wife, Jasmine Abu Bakar, by screaming like a little girl whenever he is faced with danger. Follow his exploits at FatBidin.com.
