makchic’s publisher, Laych Koh shares her thoughts on culture, changes and current events in her new monthly column, The Dilated Pupil.
When news of the Dalai Lama asking a child to suck his tongue made the rounds last week, reactions ranged from incredulity to horror, from fiery disappointment to satire about religious leaders.
We all know why satire was probably made. After all, the global scale of child sexual abuse by priests and clergy in the Catholic Church has been widely reported, and Muslim clerics in religious schools from Pakistan to Malaysia have been charged with sexually abusing children. Other religious institutions of all denominations and cults all over the world have also faced allegations of sexual and physical abuse of children. So when the Dalai Lama, a beloved figure in Buddhism in general and Tibetan Buddhism in particular, was seen in this light, satire that he had joined the ranks of this ignominious club seemed fair game.
But this was pretty hard to laugh at. Especially to mothers and fathers imagining something like that happening to their own child. This is a paedophile, some have roared. Even for journalistic purposes, I was reluctant to watch the video, and wanted to look away. But I did watch, and it wasn’t nice. As a younger adult, I had donned Free Tibet tees and spent a year visiting a Tibetan Buddhist centre in London, so I had always been familiar with the Dalai Lama and respected him, as did so many others all over the world.
As per what I am used to when trying to understand a subject better, I did a deeper dive and found forums, articles and comments from people defending or explaining the Dalai Lama’s actions. Some forums talked about him possibly having dementia, which causes some sufferers to behave very inappropriately, sometimes in a sexually inappropriate manner. Other articles spoke to Tibetans to understand Tibetan culture better, and much has been made about the fact that in their culture, sticking out your tongue is a greeting, or sign of respect, or agreement.
Others have recently said this is a cultural mistranslation or misinterpretation of the Tibetan phrase “Che le sa”, which roughly translates to “Eat my tongue.” Jigme Ugen, a Tibetan refugee living in the United States, explains that it is a term used by their elderly with children, signifying love and affection. “They say that as in ‘I’ve given you all my love and the candy so that’s it – all that’s left to do is eat my tongue,” explains a post that has been circulated on ‘Che le sa’.
It is undeniable that people should be more aware of cultural differences and nuances, and that things can get lost in translation. So what should we feel – as parents, particularly – about this interaction between the Dalai Lama and the child in question? Is this truly a disgusting act that betrays a more sinister predilection, or one that was genuinely innocent and a cultural misunderstanding? But should the cultural explanation take precedence here? The fact is that an underaged boy was kissed on the lips, his tongue and the Dalai Lama’s almost touched, and the latter did indeed ask a child to “Suck my tongue.”
I feel that the cultural defence is problematic. Some people defend child marriages or female genital mutilation (FGM) as a cultural tradition. ‘We have always done it, it is the way our people do things, you don’t understand.’ This is where the United Nations Convention On The Rights Of The Child matters so greatly today, and why it should always be sacrosanct – it should outweigh everything else. In the UN Convention, Article 3 states that the best interests of the child must be a top priority in all decisions and actions that affect children, and Article 34 states that governments must protect children from all forms of sexual abuse and exploitation. We do not want other people saying this is okay because it is cultural – should Tibetan adults go around asking children to suck their tongues now, because the Dalai Lama did?
Have we not had enough cases of children sexually abused by religious leaders and ranking members of religious organisations or schools? Hundreds of thousands all over the world through the decades – and we can only imagine how underreported the numbers actually are – tell us that people have always had a deference to religious leaders. Religious leaders yield power, influence, and often, sway over a community of loyal followers who will protect and defend their head. In Asia, there is an added level of deference to people who are older, or in leadership positions. So who defends and protects the vulnerable – the children? Would they speak up at all, seeing the deference and subservience of adults around them?
I think one can hold both the following views concurrently – it is certainly possible the Dalai Lama viewed the interaction as an innocent or playful one, and that he was absolutely wrong to do this. Defenders of the Dalai Lama who are furiously doing ‘investigations’ on how this controversy was stoked by Chinese propagandists should perhaps spend their time better by checking if this sort of thing has happened before. And did the Dalai Lama not say himself, in 2018, that he was aware of sex abuse cases by Buddhist leaders since the 1990s? Have there been other inappropriate interactions? Are there any allegations? There is always discomfort about making false accusations, or ‘creating mountains out of molehills’. Surely this is the tragedy that has resulted in continued suffering, coverups and the protection by religious institutions of their own – minimising victims’ experiences, transferring offending clerics, and focusing on those with power rather than safeguarding those with none.
It has been 64 years since the UN General Assembly adopted the Declaration of the Rights of the Child, which defines children’s rights to protection, education, health care, shelter, and good nutrition. But we still have so much to do. Teaching children about their own bodies, body safety and boundaries is one. Compelling governments to enact laws that uphold the rights of children is another. To this end, Malaysia has reason to be proud and relieved that its upper house of Parliament has approved the Sexual Offences Against Children (Amendment) Bill 2023. This bill aims to better protect Malaysian children against all forms of sexual exploitation and abuse.
Don’t worry too much about the Dalai Lama; his influence and sway will probably remain undiminished, especially to those around him. We already see that those who defend him are legion. Instead, let us keep saying this until it becomes the reality: Children come first, and when they do not know their rights, it is up to adults to protect them.
