The first time I decided to get pregnant, I only had the end in mind. All I wanted was a little baby that I can cuddle and call my own.
The prospect of having to give birth terrified me, so I shoved it to the back of my mind and decided to ignore it. The baby has to come out anyway, so why bother getting to know how it happens? Everyone gives birth right? You feel pain, you push and out comes the baby!
I let myself drown in birthing stories from other mothers before me, and the fact that most of it was a tale of ‘how I survived the horror of birthing’ made me even more confident with the decision to not think about it.
Little did I know that the pregnancy journey matters, and as a childbearing woman, I have the right to have a good and empowered pregnancy and childbirth experience.
My first labour was full of the fear of the unknown.
Due to my high blood pressure, I was induced at 38 weeks. My body was nothing near ready and my labour stalled. I wasn’t able to manage my pain and I stressed out. My baby went into a foetal distress and I ended up going through a caesarean section under general anaesthetic, something that I wasn’t prepared for at all.
I wasn’t allowed to drink or eat; I was strapped down to the bed all the time and everything was forced onto me. At that point, I took everything as being normal and it reaffirmed my perception that giving birth was indeed a nightmare that a mother must go through.
I only got to see my daughter a few hours later, still in dizziness when I woke up from the surgery. There my baby was, safe and sound, but already formula-fed. It crushed my heart that I’ve failed to start her off with my breast milk.
I was in a bad emotional state a few days later, but thankfully I managed to regain my emotional strength and overcame my frustrations.
In retrospect, I know I could have done better, if only I did not opt to be so ignorant. I’m very thankful that my baby and I ended up safe, but then, when it comes to child birthing, does it really mean that all women have to through such a miserable episode?
I think not.
So with my second pregnancy, I was determined to do better.
Embracing Childbirth Instead of Fearing It
In our modern society sometimes we forget that giving birth is part of a normal physiological process. A woman’s body has been designed perfectly to give birth, and there is no point of treating it like it is the worst thing that could happen to a human being. I opened myself up to learning more about pregnancy and child birthing – what it does to my body and how my body adapts to it, and what happens to my baby and I, from conception to birth. It helped me a lot to embrace childbirth instead of fearing it, and helped clear my mind of any doubts and fears that I used to have. It also helped me to prepare my mind for all the possibilities that could happen, and how to make informed decisions especially when it comes to medical intervention.
In My Body I Trust
I’ve come to realise that I’m stronger than I think. It’s really a good morale boost, especially when women are mostly treated like they are helpless when they are pregnant and about to give birth. Being pregnant doesn’t mean that our body is deteriorating; the truth is that our bodies are gearing up and preparing itself to face the biggest of challenges: labour. It’s this strong body that’s going to give birth, so in this body I put my trust and care – eating the right foods, building strength through prenatal exercises and toning all the essential muscles.
Getting More Spiritually Involved
Preparing mentally and spiritually is just as important as gearing up physically. I find pregnancy as a perfect time to reconnect to my Creator and asking for His help and grace. I’ve found solace in spending a portion of my day in prayers and meditation. Doing meditation also helps me practice deep breathing, an important tool for pain management during labour. It also positively builds my confidence and helps me focus on my child birthing goals.
It’s been six months into my second pregnancy and so far, I’m happier and more confident than before. Looking back at the past works this time; I learned a lot and I hope that I will be granted a better child birthing experience soon.
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Ayuni is a mum to an effervescent 3-year-old daughter. She’s currently juggling motherhood and a full-time job while trying to be the next domestic goddess. She blogs about life, parenting and her homemaking endeavours at Mommy Confessionals.
Image Credit: Happy Pregnancy
