As parents, one of our deepest fears is the possibility of our child getting lost, especially in large crowded and public spaces. While this is an unsettling thought, preparing your child for such a situation can make all the difference. Teaching your child what to do if they get lost not only equips them with essential safety skills, but also provides peace of mind for you as a parent.
If you are at a loss on how to talk to your child about getting lost, here is a helpful guide:
1. Stay Calm and Reassuring
When discussing the topic of getting lost, maintain a calm and reassuring demeanour. Children can easily pick up on anxiety, so it is imperative to create a sense of safety and confidence during the conversation. Start by reassuring your child that while getting lost is unlikely, it is important to know what to do, just in case. Also, by approaching this matter calmly, it sets a tone for them to not panic in the event they do get lost.
2. Use Simple, Clear and Age-Appropriate Language
Children, especially younger ones, can become overwhelmed with too much information. Use simple, clear, and age-appropriate language. Using picture illustrations could also help the conversation along. Avoid terms that might scare them, and focus on the practical steps they should take. It doesn’t hurt to also repeat this conversation when they are older. Teenagers would prefer more age-appropriate language and approaches to this, so remember to move with the times as your children grow up.
3. Teach Them To Memorise Important Information
Make sure your child knows their full name, your full name, and your phone number. This information is crucial if they need to ask for help. You can make this into a fun activity by turning it into a song or a game to help them remember. Having your child keep your name card with your phone number on it, in their pockets could also prove useful. If they have their own devices, ensure they know how to call or send you a text message.
4. Identify Safe People and Places
Teach your child to look for “safe” people if they get lost, such as police officers, security personnel, mall employees or information desks in shopping centres, or other parents with children. Point these figures out when you’re out together so your child knows who to look for. Additionally, identify safe places or key landmarks where they can go if they can’t find you, like concierge counters or information desks. Or if there is a food outlet that your family patronises often, use this as a key landmark and be a little friendlier with the staff so they know your family.
5. Conduct Role-Playing Scenarios
One of the most effective ways to teach your child what to do if they get lost is through role-playing. Act out different scenarios where they might get separated from you, such as at a park, in a store, or at a crowded event. It is crucial to practice in a space you feel safe with your child and you both know well enough. Practice the steps they should take in each situation. This can include:
- Staying Put: Encourage them to stay in one place and wait for you if they are in a familiar area.
- Seeking Help: Teach them how to approach a safe person and what to say. You may want to give them some specific lines to practice.
- Using Their Voice: Let them know it is okay to shout for you if they feel safe doing so.
6. Create a Family Safety Plan
Develop a family safety plan that includes what to do if someone gets lost. Make sure all family members are aware of the plan and practice it regularly. This plan can include meeting spots in frequently visited places and specific actions to take. It also helps to include other adults who are involved in caring for your child, be it a grandparent, relative or nanny. If you are unsure about creating a safety plan, read this article on Very Well Family, to give you some ideas.
7. Take Full Advantage of Technology
For older children, you can use technology to enhance their safety. Equip them with a smartphone or a GPS tracker like Air Tags. Teach them how to use it to call you or send their location in case they get lost. It might also be a good idea to link their device to yours so that it can be tracked remotely. In fact, Air Tags can easily be used for younger children, tagged onto their clothes as well. Technology is able to do wonders in this day and age, so use it well. 
8. Reinforce and Review
Regularly review and reinforce what you have taught your child. This doesn’t have to be a formal sit-down session; it can be part of everyday outings. Experiential learning can be the most effective, learning it in context of every day outings. Ask them questions about what they would do if they couldn’t see you in a particular place. Provide positive reinforcements for how they answer you and react in various situations. Ideally, the reinforcements and reviews should also be done with other adults who care for your child, besides the primary caregiver.
What about children who are neurodivergent?
All the above tips are also quite applicable to neurodivergent children, with careful adjustments to how they are delivered. When talking to your neurodivergent child about getting lost, it’s essential to use tailored strategies that align with their unique communication and sensory needs. Remember that these also apply to our non-speaking neurodivergents. While they may not speak, their level of understanding must not be underestimated.
Utilise visual aids, such as storyboards or social stories, to provide clear and concrete examples of what they should do if they get separated from you. Simplify instructions and break them down into small, manageable steps, reinforcing them through repetition and practice in real-life settings. Provide sensory tools, like a favourite toy or stress ball, to help them stay calm, and establish clear safety rules they can easily follow.
By addressing their specific anxieties and encouraging open communication, you can ensure they feel confident and prepared in unfamiliar situations. Also, do not underestimate the power of Assistive Technology. If your child communicates using an AAC Device, ensure that they know how to find this option to let someone know to call you.
For more tips on navigating this conversation with your neurodivergent child, click here.
Additional pro tips for all parents
While it is important for us to explain to our child the importance of knowing what to do when they get lost, we need to do our part too. Here are some tips for parents to consider.
- Firstly, dressing your child in bright colours makes them easier to spot and for people to remember seeing them. This comes in handy in case they are separate from you, and people would more likely remember seeing a child dressed in bright colours.
- Also, do not underestimate the power of taking a photo of your child, every time you leave the house. This way, you have their latest photo of your child with you at all times. These can easily be circulated.
- Lastly, it doesn’t hurt to join community social media groups, in the event you need to reach out for help.
Getting lost is equally frightening for the parent and the child. The best-case scenario is always to avoid this particular unfortunate incident. Therefore, always emphasise the importance of not getting separated from one’s family when in public spaces.
Parents, please remember be mindful of your children – the selfies, WhatsApp messages and social media posts can wait. Safety first and always have your eye on your family. It only takes a split second for things to take a turn.
By Desiree KaurÂ
Desiree Kaur was in PR for over 8-years until she found her true calling in the education line. After her son was diagnosed with autism, she decided to pursue her Masters in Special Education. She enjoys writing and advocates inclusion for children of all abilities in every little way possible.
