Your little one is finally starting childcare. You’ve done the research, chosen a centre that aligns with your family’s needs and values, and now the countdown to the first day has begun. It’s a huge milestone for both you and your child, but it can be nerve-racking knowing your child will be in the care of people outside of family for the first time.
Children thrive on predictability. So, if you can prepare your child and let them know what’s going to happen early on, it helps them know what to expect when the big day comes. Here are some proactive steps you can take to make this transition a much smoother one:
1. Visit the space in advance
Bringing your child to visit the space where they will play, eat, and possibly nap ahead of time helps them become familiar and comfortable with their new environment. This early exposure allows your child to explore the setting at their own pace, easing possible anxiety. It also provides them with an opportunity to meet their teachers beforehand, helping to establish an initial connection before their first official day.
2. Prepare a social story
Social stories are short and personalised stories that you can make into a book at home by printing or drawing images to help your child visualise what to expect on their first day at childcare. These can be filled with pictures of the childcare centre, where they will be playing, eating and having naps. You could also include pictures of their teachers. The routine and rhythm of the day could also be included, so that your child knows what comes next, after a certain activity has ended.
Other than that, you could also include possible emotions that may arise in your child, and how they can handle this. For example, a page could say “I might feel sad and cry when mama drops me off. It’s ok to be sad and cry. My teachers will comfort me and I can look at my family picture to help me feel better.”
The beauty of a social story is that it can be read over and over again so that it creates a sense of security and anchors them in uncertainty.
A sample of a social story can be found here.
3. Practice the morning routine
Practicing the morning routine can help you and your child ease into the change of routine. If your child tends to wake up later than what is needed when childcare starts, you can start practicing the routine a week or two before by sleeping and waking up earlier.
In addition, when your child is familiar with steps such as waking up, getting dressed, having breakfast, and leaving the house, the routine begins to feel predictable and safe, rather than rushed or overwhelming for the whole family.
Other than predictability, a huge part of getting prepared for the first day of childcare is accepting feelings of anxiousness, fear, or worry that your child might experience. Your child may tell you that they are worried or that they don’t want to go to childcare. It is normal and the best way to handle that is to accept those emotions. Let your child know that you see how they are feeling, and that you are there for them. No need for fixes or empty promises like “You will have so much fun! There are lots of toys” or “You’re going to meet so many friends.”
Instead, your presence and acceptance is what your child needs from you, so they feel seen. Some phrases you can tell your child may include “You’re feeling unsure about childcare, I hear you” or “You don’t want to go tomorrow. It’s hard for you to feel good about being somewhere without me.” Let your sturdy presence be your child’s secure base, not just for the first day, but for the settling period that is probably going to happen.
During drop-off
The day is finally here. Depending on your childcare’s drop-off policy, you might be able to linger inside the centre to help ease your child into the environment for a few minutes before bidding them farewell. Even if the policy is to just have an immediate handover, how you say goodbye matters.
Goodbyes can be hard, for both you and your child. Here are some ways to make goodbyes smoother:
- If your child is upset at handover, acknowledge your child’s feelings by saying something like, “I know you’re upset that I’m leaving, I’ll come back after lunch time.”
- Don’t sneak away. Instead, let your child know that you are leaving and when you will be back. This creates trust and your child will not be worried if you’re going to sneak away again.
- Make goodbyes quick and confident. Prolonged, lingering goodbyes are harder on both you and your child.
Your confidence is key here. The more confident you are, the more secure your child will feel at drop-off. If your child cries, don’t helicopter, or fear that they’ll be “traumatised”. Your child is just expressing how they feel at the moment – that they prefer staying with you – and that’s okay. Trust that they will have teachers who will support their feelings, and they will be alright.
The parent-teacher relationship
Another crucial part of supporting your child’s transition into childcare is building an open relationship with your child’s teachers. Sharing insights about your child, such as their likes and dislikes, preferred ways of being soothed, sleep patterns, and how their night or morning has been, helps teachers better understand and respond to your child’s individual needs.
This information allows teachers to provide more consistent, responsive care and to anticipate moments when your child may need extra comfort or support. When parents and teachers communicate openly and work as a team, children feel more secure and supported as they adjust to their new environment.
With thoughtful preparation and confidence in your child and their teachers, the transition to childcare can be a positive and empowering experience, where your child can start to learn important life skills like growing independence, being with other children, and developing a love for learning.
Good luck, #makchicmumsquad!
By Carmen Chan
Carmen Chan is the Co-Founder and Principal of Wondervillage. Having worked with children for over a decade, she is passionate about bringing her experiences to help parents break unhealthy generational cycles in their parenting in the Asian context. She believes all children deserve to be seen as unique individuals deserving of respect, regardless of their age, and that seeing them this way will raise a generation who know their worth.
