A typical day starts with finding the dishes still in the sink from the night before, my husband looking for his shirt from the mountain of unfolded clothes, and my toddler crying out for breakfast first thing in the morning before I could clear yesterday’s dinner stains on the table.
The constant attention needed from a toddler leaves me running between housework and catching up with him the entire day. Electronic babysitters certainly made it possible to get things done but soon I found a disconnection with him in our relationship.
Eventually the situation became unhealthy and I find myself back where I started. Housework and toddlers, how do I make it work?
Rahima Baldwin Dancy stated in her book You Are Your Child’s First Teacher, that simple activities of daily life such as housework are exactly what our child needs to grow and develop in a healthy way. First, you’re modelling real work. Second, you’re sharing quality time, and third, your child is moving, learning skills and developing competence.
By putting faith in the fact that housework is actually nurturing, here are some changes we did to make it work:
1. My upper shelf, his lower shelf
Childproofing space is the first step he can always be safely together with me. I reserved the lower cabinets filled with plastic wares for his use while my plates and glassware are on the upper shelves. This setting gives him a sense of belonging through similar tasks he imitates.
While I hang our clean laundry to dry, he’ll be playing with the lower bars to hang napkins or hangers.
2. Toddler-size it
Their ability to take over your chores can certainly slow things down. Get those tiny, busy hands occupied with smaller household cleaning tools to work with (or pretend with something similar).
My toddler would rush to get our small hand broom with its mini dustpan when he sees me sweeping the floor. I’ll give him a small basket to resemble mine upon doing the laundry.
3. Make the objects come alive
Because my toddler can be a real hurricane with things, I’ll try slowing him down by making up a story to achieve a task. Sometimes we’ll make the veggies talk and give them a bath in the basin, the hungry washing machine needs to be fed, and the bed needs to change its clothes. This also helps in telling him when its time to stop (end the chores) and say goodbye to them.
4. Allow discovery and play
Toddlers see play in everything. That’s exactly how it becomes disruptive but we could still find a way control the situation. Since he loves to scoop and dump things, I’ll give him some cups to scoop and dump the rice into the rice cooker. I’ll just let him get messy playing with the batter as he experiences the change of texture when flour is added with water. The gooey texture of a cracked egg would give him wonders. Sure I had to sacrifice cleaning up some mess and accidents in exchange for completing my cooking, but the patience is worth it as this too improves his motor skills.
5. Break chores into small parts
It’s very challenging to stick to one activity with a toddler’s short span of interest, so set a goal for small tasks instead. I would clear the table and leave them in the sink for a later dish washing activity with him. Vacuuming may be done only one or two rooms at a time as it includes taking out and storing the vacuum cleaner back in place, which can be painfully slow with a curious toddler.
6. Merge with his routine
Look for opportunities to multitask. Clean the bathroom while he’s having a bath in the tub. This saves time cleaning him up too. If your toddler has a quiet time where he takes a long rest or plays quietly on the bed, that’s a suitable time to have the clothes folded.
7. Lower expectations
Be realistic. Living with small children means not seeing a ‘Martha Stewart house’ everyday. The priority is more about keeping the house childproofed and hygienic. If needed, get hired help for certain chores or do it when they are asleep.
Your child may not want to participate in the housework altogether and this can be rather challenging. But hold on to the goal you are working towards. It doesn’t happen overnight, but as long as you set the rhythm in the home, have faith that the wait shall be very rewarding.
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Ernadia is a mum of two kids and a former national gymnast who now enjoys jumping and tumbling on the bed together with her toddler. While she strives to be a good parent, her kids are subtly teaching her baby steps on what life is all about.
