“I touch my baby every day! Every time I feed him, every time I change her diapers, every time I give her a wipe/bath I touch her.” So, what’s loving touch then? Why do babies need their parents’ loving touch? Why is this so important?
Dr. Frederick Leboyer who is a French obstetrician and author says: “Touching is the first communication a baby receives.The first language of its development is through the skin.”
He also describes touch in a wonderful way:
“Being touched and caressed, being massaged, is food for the infant, food as necessary as minerals, vitamins and proteins. It is through loving, caressing, tactile stimulation and communication that the infant learns that he/she is loved. We must speak to their skins. We must speak to their backs, which thirst and cry as much as their bellies”.
Have you noticed your baby touching your hair, or feeling the cloth of your clothes? Or maybe grabbing your necklace, bracelet or watch? Why do they do this? They are doing this because your baby is investigating and collecting information about the material and storing it in his brains. Of course, technically they can’t think and decipher information as we, adults, can. But basic neural connections are enhanced. Your baby’s brain is constantly forming new neural connections as he learns and observes his environment. For example, during a massage or parent-infant interaction, a serve and return interaction happens between the parent and child where you smile or coo or sing and talk to your baby and your baby smiles or coos back. This helps the brain form connections about cause and effect as well. “Mummy is smiling and singing to me; it makes me feel good.” “Mummy is upset or angry; it does not make me feel good.” Babies can somehow pick up on the energy released. Have you noticed when you’re upset or stressed or angry, your baby picks up on this energy and gets fussy or may even start to cry? But when you’re calm and relaxed, your baby seems to be in a calmer mode too.
You see, when a baby comes into this world, she is very curious and starts to learn more about the world and the environment around her. She starts to learn and process questions such as who am I? Am I safe here? Can I depend on the people around me? Am I lovable and significant? Do I need to protect myself? Is it better to respond with compassion or with violence?
Babies are like a dry sponge; they absorb and learn from their environment really fast. One of the ways a baby learns about his environment and the world is through touch (E.g. Cuddling, holding, diapering, massaging, etc.) It feels great and fun to cuddle and hold a baby but that’s not the only thing that’s going on. Stroking and holding your baby helps the brain release important hormones that stimulate the development of vital organs. A love, bonding and well-being hormone such as oxytocin is also release in the baby as well as the parent who is touching, cuddling or massaging the baby. Babies need touch on a constant basis to help their brains grow. Touch helps the nerve cells form connections within the baby’s brain that enables it to function more efficiently.
Moreover, touch is also important to the early social development and attachment behaviour of the child. There are studies that show that children who receive plenty of touch and tactile stimulation tend to grow into capable, trusting, well-adjusted and loving adults. On the other hand, those who are deprived of touch in infancy shows predispositions towards violent and aggressive behaviours. Certainly there are many other things that can influence human behaviour other than how we were touched as babies. However, it does make sense that during infancy, which is the most vulnerable time of our lives, we form expectations and patterns about how to world functions, how safe and valued we are, through our skin (touch). These connections and ideas are carried forward into adulthood.
So, if you were to give your child one thing, something that could help with the development of your child, what would it be? Would it be a learning toy or baby flash cards? For an infant, the most important experience that a person can give would be the communication a child shares with her parents and that communication starts even before the baby is born and enhanced through touch once the baby is out in this world. Baby massage is one way to enhance this bond, communicate and learn about your baby.
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Jashpreet Kaur is a Certified Infant Massage Instructor (CIMI) from the International Association of Infant Massage (IAIM). She also has a Psychology background and is the founder of Baby Massage with Love and an author for an upcoming book. Get in touch with her at Baby Massage with Love.
