Just last month my family welcomed a new member, my nephew – the first newborn of the generation after mine. This year has seen a few births among my friends and my Instagram feed has been filled with the most adorable pictures of the little ones!
No doubt, newborns are a gift and a blessing for the parents and their families. They bring new life into their world and spread joy and happiness all around. We can’t help it; we just go ga-ga over babies!
But in doing so, we may often forget to give the new mother the space to recuperate, to immerse in her new role or to just let her enjoy the first few weeks of motherhood. Sometimes, new mothers are stressed out by other people, even if their intentions are well-meaning.
Often elders in the family are quick to tell new mothers on what she can and cannot do, to point out what she’s doing wrong and to smother her with traditional remedies and diets. These are often called pantang (taboo), and are observed during the mother’s confinement period.
Like modern medicine, these remedies have specific functions. For example, putting pilis (a mixture of cinnamon bark and garlic) on the forehead is supposed to bring radiance into the eyes and to avoid headaches, while a jamu (a concoction of spices and herbs) drink is meant to cleanse the body. Some remedies can prove to be a bit more challenging to follow, like sleeping in param (a concoction of rice, red ginger, turmeric and black pepper mixed into a paste)! This is done after bathing to avoid angin (wind).
A friend and new mother Myra, editor-in-chief of Makchic.com, an online portal for urban mothers, told me that some of the things that she was told to do included: stay indoors for 41 days, wear socks and a sweater all day (for blood circulation), avoid eating chicken (for it would make her C-section wound itchy), do not drink cold water and do not injure her big toe (because that’s where angin enters the body). However, Myra did not really observe all these pantang.
“My mum and sister never went through it, so the tradition isn’t really there in our family. I did observe some of them out of curiosity but didn’t follow them through. For example, your baby’s first check-up is a week after delivery. Are you going to skip the appointment just because you’re under house arrest?
“The house arrest was especially hard,” she continued. “Yes, you need to recover from giving birth, but being cooped up at home with a new baby can be overwhelming. Let’s not judge new mums who want to step out of the house during confinement – that way they can come home feeling happier and better about themselves.”
Another friend, Ying (who is expecting in February), dreads the confinement period: “How am I supposed to survive staying in a room without a fan or air conditioning? I am also supposed to wear long sleeve and pants – I think I might suffocate instead of healing from the delivery!” Unlike Myra, Ying has no choice but to observe the pantang as she will be staying with her in-laws.
“When you’re staying with your in-laws, you have to follow what they tell you to do as you don’t want to get blamed (if anything happens). One of the pantang during pregnancy is that you should not sew on the bed as it is believed it could cut the baby in the womb and this will appear as a birthmark on the baby when he is born.
“My sister-in-law actually broke this pantang and when the baby was born, he had a mark near his eye! I don’t really know how true this is, but I will still observe it as it is something easy to follow.”
“New mums have to deal with a new role, new emotions, new responsibilities, new sleeping patterns – if she can get any – and new body issues. Are these stretch marks a badge of honour? Will my tummy go back to its pre-pregnancy state?” asked Myra.
“Makchic recognises the growing number of urban mothers looking for both traditional and non-traditional content about pregnancy, childbirth and raising your first child. The contributors share their personal stories and journeys of overcoming frustrations and difficulties. We hope that new mums will feel less alone in parenting. It’s solidarity at its best,” she adds.
An article on Malay pantang published by Baby Center quoted Datin Sharifah Anisah, founder of Nona Roguy (now NR) and author of Ensiklopedia Perbidanan Melayu (Encyclopaedia of Malay Midwifery), that confinement practices stem from the belief that the womb is a woman’s life force and affects her overall health. Thus, a healthy womb ensures that a woman stays radiant and alluring. The article also shared an anthropological perspective that Malay postnatal practices are based on centuries-old understanding of the four “elements” – earth, fire, air and water. These elements must be balanced in the body for a person to enjoy good health.
Now, when you put things into this perspective, some of the pantang make sense. The elders would always talk about avoiding angin and a lot of the herbs used for bengkung (a traditional wrap to get the body back in shape) and body massage are made from spices, herbs and plants, hence ‘earth’.
The concept of pantang may be foreign to Western cultures and some of these taboos may even sound weird to them as they are more used to the coldness of hospitals and modern medicine. Try explaining angin to a gwailo! But Asian cultures on the other hand are rooted in nature and use concepts of our natural surroundings to explain certain ailments. I find that there is a certain warmth and a feeling of home when it comes to traditional medicine.
Plus, like our folklores, these pantang could be just sound, logical advice which has become mystified. For example, the taboo about not sewing on the bed while pregnant is perhaps just to avoid the person from being injured by the needle! However, I wonder if the practice of adhering to pantang can sustain itself as more and more urban families reject such things and instead rely more on modern medicine or trends (baby yoga, anyone?). If not for elders in the family, we of the younger generation are not really familiar with the exact ways of pantang, which may not suit our lifestyles. These pantang can also be too elaborate and taxing on new mothers. I mean, who would want to sleep in a herbal paste?
Yet for someone who has not gone through the confinement period myself – I could be digging my own grave as I’m saying this – there is something romantic about pantang, of going back to basics, of staying home, of appreciating natural remedies and herbs that we, folks of the city, often neglect.
Perhaps a way around it is to incorporate some pantang into the recuperating period while relaxing the rules so that the new mother can breathe and have time for herself too. That way, traditional practices can still live on and be an attractive option for modern, urban mothers.
* This article originally appeared on The Star on October 27, 2013. Republished with permission from The Star.
–
Sharyn Shufiyan believes that cultures adorn a society, much like Tapestry on a piece of cloth. She puts on an anthropological hat to discuss Malaysia’s cultures, subcultures and society (ies). Write to her at star2@thestar.com.my.
Image Credit: Chutima Therapy
