More dads these days are taking an increasingly active role in nurturing and caring for their babies. Despite their work and financial commitments, they are interested to learn more about parenting, and many are keen to find new ways to play and interact with their newborns.
For those seeking to bond more with their tots, simple acts like playing and cuddling bring about good paternal feelings. In fact, even massaging your baby is possible; it not only creates feelings of love but can also induce relaxation in fathers.
How do you play with a newborn?
Some dads say, “I’ll wait until my son is older and then we can play football together.” But that’s a long time to take to interact, isn’t it? Based on my experience teaching baby massage in Malaysia, I’ve found that massage is a great tool and activity for interaction, especially between father and child.
I’ve seen dads gaze lovingly into their baby’s eyes during a massage session. I’ve seen them cooing, babbling, talking and communicating with their babies. It’s amazing! You can feel the love in the air and it is such a wonderful space to be in.
I’ve also experienced moments where the dads were able to calm down their crying babies quickly. A calm parent quickly makes the baby calm too. A tip: Try taking three deep breaths before picking up your crying baby. Or focus on something that calms you down – it can be singing, listening to music, deep breathing, etc.
How does massage benefit dads and babies?
Psychologist Tom Daly says, “In the process of giving the massage, fathers get to know their children in an extraordinary way. They connect with a deep part of the child and with a deep part of themselves – their nurturing side. Boys, by and large, are conditioned to suppress this part by the age of nine, but working with infants in this way opens up that old place. Dads find they are great nurturers when given a safe situation in which their manhood is not compromised.”
Daly also says that when the father gives extra attention, the child tend to exhibit more creativity and self-confidence.
Massage provides quality one-to-one time for both parents and infants, which is beneficial to both. When daddy massages his baby, the baby learns that daddy can touch him/her lovingly and gently too.
Moreover, daddy is also someone the baby can rely on to help meet his or her emotional and physical needs. This experience in turn boosts daddy’s confidence in being a parent. Just like breastfeeding, skin-to-skin contact and face-to-face communication all enhance the bonding process and develop secure attachment for the infant. Massage can be the tool to keep daddy literally “in touch” with his precious one.
This is a common positive testimonial from a father who practiced infant massage with his children:
“I can’t even begin to tell you just how powerful the bond is that can be created between father and infant. My boys, A.J. (8 years) and Ethan, (5 years) received regular treatment from me (10-20 minutes a day) in the first nine months of life. I can tell you that in addition to the great bond that I have with them, they are very strong and emotionally healthy boys. I feel empowered as their father knowing that I made a significant contribution to their health that I would not otherwise be able to bring. With mothers carrying so much of the brunt of early childhood development, there are not a lot of opportunities that we as fathers have to contribute. Today, my boys come to me for comfort as much if not more than they do from their mother. I feel that our bond is so much more than physical; it’s emotional as well. The safety that they feel in my arms is truly incredible. I can’t urge fathers enough to take advantage of this opportunity to give a gift that lasts a lifetime.” John G. Louis
Here are some testimonials from daddies who have attended the program I conduct through Baby Massage with Love:
“As a father I have very limited time to spend with my baby. Moreover, my work requires me to travel overseas so I don’t get to spend much time with my baby. My wife started doing infant massage and seeing her doing it with instructor. After a few sessions of massage, Jashpreet Kaur (instructor) asked me to massage Melissa. I was a bit nervous in the beginning but once I start doing the massage to my baby, I felt so great. Massaging helps me develop confidence when handling baby Melissa. My tiredness and stress just gone in few minutes. Thank you, infant massage and instructor.” – Victor
“Ragnar loves being massaged. You can easily tell that he really does enjoy it and he seems to be more alert and relaxed when being massaged. So far mummy’s got a better handle on it than me, but never the less, the massage does strengthen the bond between my son and I. I will continue to massage him for a long time still.”– Kjetil
“Baby massage has provided the opportunity to bond with my baby physically and emotionally. Teaches how to share precious one to one time, with love and patience, while ensuring the most benefit and safety for baby.”– Hazlan
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Jashpreet Kaur is a Certified Infant Massage Instructor (CIMI) from the International Association of Infant Massage (IAIM). She also has a Psychology background and is the founder of Baby Massage with Love and an author for an upcoming book. Get in touch with her at Baby Massage with Love.
Image Credit: Flickr user currystrumpet
