Life is full of clichés. So is motherhood.
At the sound of the word “motherhood”, a woman would imagine having the most beautiful baby in the world, snuggling close to her, heart to heart. She would spend all her time adoring her precious bundle and everything else in the world does not seem to matter anymore.
In all honesty, motherhood is indeed a blissful affair, but it is far from picture perfect.
It took me a while to realise what I have said above, given the fact that I was one of the new mothers who naively expected that the beginning of my motherhood ride is not going to be a bumpy one.
So if a mother-to-be comes up to me and asked for some words of wisdom, I have decided that these are the things that I am going to say:
Baby blues is as real as the baby
When the most “dramatic” part of having a child is over (oh yes, I meant labour), besides the baby, the blues will be visiting too. Hormones go crazy ever since the conception, and they need time to get back on track. The funny thing is they mess around with your emotions too.
An aching body recovering from the traumas of birth and a demanding newborn – it could all be so overwhelming that even something trivial could make you feel bad about yourself or the baby. It is important that you recognize this feeling and do not let it consume you. Being a little blue is normal but be careful not to let it linger as it could lead you into postpartum depression.
I survived my baby blues episode thanks to my husband and mom who helped me a lot with chores and taking care of the baby when I needed rest. It helped me to recover from those dark feelings I had about my new responsibilities and routine.
Breastfeeding is not a breeze
Sure, we all know that breastfeeding is best. If you are planning on doing so, be aware that it also carries a set of its own challenges.
It’s funny how a little adorable baby with no teeth could cause so much pain to your breasts – all the sucking will make them sore as they toughen up for the months of feeding ahead. The milk does not come straightaway too so do not give up so easily.
The key is knowledge and perseverance. If you are determined to breastfeed your child, learn all you can about breastfeeding and be prepared to jump past those hurdles.
The nights are slow and lonely
It’s going to be 3am and the only people awake would be you and your baby. You will have to bid adieu to uninterrupted sleep. Sleep deprivation will kick-in hard, and it is not fun at all (I missed it real bad!).
The best thing you could do is sleep when the baby sleeps during the day. I personally think that it is easier said than done (especially if you are not used to sleeping during the day like me), but it is worth a shot even if it is just a short nap.
Don’t forget about yourself
In the flurry of having a new important person and a new routine, you should not forget about the real hero.
Yes, that’s you.
Giving birth is a major achievement, and it is taxing on your body. But you deserve attention too. So, don’t forget to find a good caregiver for yourself during confinement to help your body heal.
It may cost you some money, but it is the best investment. Trust me, your body will thank you and in no time you will be back on your feet, all healthy again. After all, everyone needs mommy to be strong to take of the baby and the rest of the family affairs.
All those too, shall pass
“The days are long but the years are short” – this saying pretty much sums up all the ups and downs of having a baby.
When you find yourself too overwhelmed and thinking twice about your decision of becoming a parent, remember that all those episodes of tears and sweat will be gone before you know it.
As crazy as it sounds, you would even find yourself missing those moments and the sights of your innocent little baby. Perhaps this could be the reason that some mothers don’t mind having babies over and over again.
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Ayuni is a mum to an effervescent 3-year-old daughter and a newborn baby. She’s currently juggling motherhood and a full-time job while trying to be the next domestic goddess. She blogs about life, parenting and her homemaking endeavours at Mommy Confessionals.
Image Credits: Flickr user sharmo
