Parenthood, for the uninitiated and mildly terrified, brings with it a whole set of do’s and dont’s. In addition to the traditional confinement rules, there are a few more ‘rules’ which well-meaning folk will try to make us follow – and we obey them dutifully, usually because we don’t know what else to do. But some rules can be broken:
1. Sleep when the baby sleeps
Let me tell you what will happen when your baby finally falls asleep: You have about 20 minutes to have a shower, put out the laundry, vacuum the floor and cook – and eat – lunch. Or you might just want to Facebook in peace. Use that time to do what you want to do.
2. Forget about housework
Unless you have a domestic helper or a family member to help out, you will worry about getting chores done. Amid the chaos of new parenthood, sometimes things you can do on autopilot like folding the laundry can provide a chance to switch off while doing what needs to be done.
3. Don’t let your baby fall asleep in your arms
You will hear comments like “you’re spoiling your baby” if you let your baby fall asleep in your arms. But they’re not going to be this little forever – if the only way you can get bub to nap is on your chest or in your arms, do it.
4. Enjoy parenthood
It’s okay not to enjoy parenthood 24/7 – it’s a pretty hard job. It’s okay to feel frustrated or even question why you wanted to have a baby to begin with. It doesn’t make you a bad parent – it means you’re human.
5. You must breastfeed your baby
Everyone knows breast is best. But if you can’t breastfeed, or you simply don’t want to – you’ll still make sure your baby is fed. Not breastfeeding doesn’t mean you love your baby any less.
6. Don’t let your baby watch TV
I’m not suggesting you put your child down in front of the TV for a Game of Thrones marathon. If your baby has separation anxiety and you need to go to the toilet or quickly make yourself some toast, a sneaky five minutes of Sesame Street isn’t going to rot their brain.
7. You should only give your baby home-made food
Not all commercially-made baby food is bad. When you’re out and about and baby is hungry, food pouches can be a lifesaver. Also, if you don’t have a spoon, letting them suck on the pouch this one time isn’t a disaster.
8. Don’t let the baby cry
Babies usually have a reason for crying – whether they’re hungry, tired, have a wet nappy or are bored. But if you’ve tried everything and bub is still crying, it’s okay to let them cry for a little while. Take a deep breath, step away for a moment, and give them lots of love and cuddles after you’ve calmed yourself.
9. Babies shouldn’t have anything cold
Cold fruit puree and breastmilk popsicles provide relief for hot, itchy gums in teething bubs. It’s also a nice treat on a hot day. As with most things, do what you are comfortable with and in moderation.
10. Don’t co-sleep/ don’t put baby in their own room
The bottom line is this – do what works for you and your partner so you can get the sleep you need. At the end of the day, you’re the one who has to go on with everyday life while caring for a baby – not your grandmother, auntie or neighbour.
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Faye Song is a city girl finding her feet in regional Victoria, Australia. A former journalist, she works in marketing and communication. These days, she finds her most demanding and fascinating client to be her little boy.
