I decided that I needed to shop around for a doctor who can deliver my twins vaginally because not many of the ‘younger’ doctors do it. I’m guessing it’s easier for them – they get to schedule it, they’re in and out in an hour or two tops, and they don’t need to wait around while you’re in labour. While I understand that if there are complications such as the twins aren’t cooperating or are in difficult positions to come out through the natural passage, then I see the necessity for a caesarean section. However, I don’t understand doctors who say that they exclusively perform caesarean sections for women who have more than one baby regardless of their positions or not.
I don’t really have many friends who have had twins; all of them who have given birth have had amazing experiences. Some gave birth in their bathtub at home, some had an epidural, some had an emergency caesarean section, and some used hypnobirthing techniques and swore by it. So I was very confused when my present obstetrician told me that she’s more comfortable performing a caesarean section on me.
Now I’m not being stubborn. I just feel that it’s my body and it’s my right to choose how I want my babies to be born. I’d like to have the peace of mind knowing that my doctor did everything she could before deciding to go with the caesarean section. Plus, I’d like to be as mobile as I can after delivery because I have two babies to feed, change, bathe, etc. Now this is where you may think I’m trying to kill myself… but I don’t want a live-in maid either.
So I started shopping for an ob-gyn who could deliver my precious little ones. Another reason for looking for a new ob-gyn was that we needed a hospital closer to home – Sunway is quite a distance for me to labour all the way in the car!
I met up with doctors from Ampang Puteri Specialist Hospital, Gleneagles Hospital Kuala Lumpur and Prince Court Medical Centre (PCMC). The first two doctors were wonderful – they patiently answered all my questions, calmly explained the techniques they’d be using to deliver the twins as if I was a doctor myself (I really appreciate when doctors do this, I hate it when doctors talk to me as if I don’t understand anything because I’m not a doctor. I mean hello, we have Google!) and they comforted me, and told me I had nothing to worry about with twins. Many twins have been delivered naturally if the twins were in the right positions.
The last doctor we saw left me fuming mad because of his bedside manner or lack thereof! First and foremost, he was typing all of our notes into his computer, which meant he hardly looked at us when he spoke to us (this is a huge pet peeve of mine! We’re paying you for your time and service, the least you could do is look at us in the eye and talk to us, this is our babies we’re discussing!). Secondly, rather than understanding that the whole reason I came was to discuss whether I could deliver vaginally or not, he kept pushing for a caesarean section, saying that his tolerance was very low and at the slightest complication he would do the caesarean section. Thirdly, he kept bringing up numbers, which started to make me feel like he felt like we couldn’t afford it. He also said if I were to deliver in May (I was only due in September) we’d have to probably pay about RM30,000 per baby, so if we don’t have that kind of budget don’t even bother coming to PCMC and go straight to a government hospital transfers are tough! My blood is boiling just typing this.
I was so upset when I left PCMC. First and foremost at least practice some tact, don’t have to be so money oriented. At the end of the day we want our babies to be delivered safely to the best hands we see fit. We don’t care about the money, but also be comforting towards the mother. Don’t talk to me as if I’m some roast turkey you just can’t wait to carve.
The second you feel uncomfortable with the doctor you’re seeing, you have every single right as a paying patient and future mother to your children to go elsewhere. Here are some qualities I looked for before deciding to deliver at Gleneagles:
- Listen to the way they answer your questions. You should feel like you’re their only patient they’re seeing for the day. You should be comfortable enough to ask every single question you want to without feeling rushed.
- Look for a hospital that’s closest to your home because towards the end of your pregnancy your visits become more frequent. If you ever need to rush to the hospital, then you don’t have to worry about our unpredictable traffic.
- Trust your gut and remember that it’s never too late to change doctors.
Disclaimer: I have nothing against caesarean births but I believe that every woman has the right to decide how she would like to give birth. She owns every right to decline or refuse whatever she’s not comfortable with. We need to change this mindset that doctors know everything and we have no say. My advice to future mummies out there is to read up as much as you can and meet up with as many doctors as you want before making a decision. Birth is no joke and there is never one way of doing something.
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January Low, recent mother of twins, takes each day as it comes – because no parenting book could have prepared her for this!
