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Conversation Prompts To Get the Kids Talking

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“Hi sweetheart! How was your day?”

“Good.” 

End of conversation.

Meaningful communication is key to any successful relationship, while also promoting  growth for both parties.  Oftentimes though, we fall into the rut of asking the same habitual questions without even really expecting a sincere answer from our kids. 

Other times, we try hard to connect and engage with our children, but are greeted with that notorious grunt or one-worded reply. 

If you’re looking for ways to connect better with your kids, here are some creative conversation prompts (suitable for the littles as well as older kids and teens) to encourage more meaningful conversations and build on crucial life skills. 

Character building 

1. Empathy 

Photo Credit: Unsplash

The ability to take on other perspectives is a  precursor to empathy. And for those wondering, no – empathy is not only an inborn trait! We can actually nurture and teach empathy to our kids. Having directed discussions is one way to do so.  Try asking the following: 

Preschool:

  • Were you kind to anyone today?
  • Was anyone sad today? Why do you think that person felt sad?
  • Who do you think needs a friend at school?

Primary:

  • What do you think is special about older people?
  • What is something that you believe someone else might disagree with?
  • Who gets teased at school? Why do they get teased?

Teens: 

  • To what extent do you think that race can affect a person’s opportunities in life?
  • Is there anyone you think you would be friends with if you knew a little bit more about them?
  • If you suddenly gained the power to read minds, whose mind would you want to read and why?

2. Critical Thinking

Photo Credit: Mindchamps

Critical thinking is a 21st century essential! Research has shown that children who learn critical thinking skills do better at language comprehension and problem-solving, even exhibiting a higher IQ than their peers.

Preschool:

  • What magic power do you wish you had? Why?
  • What are some ways you could celebrate “Backwards Day?”
  • Do you think your pet could join the Paw Patrol?

Primary:

  • How could you classify everyone in your class into exactly five categories?
  • Would you rather be as small as an ant or as tall as a giant? Why?
  • How can you make RM100 by next week if you wanted to?

Teens: 

  • If you could solve one problem in the world, what would it be and why?
  • If you could go back and time and change one thing, what would it be and why?
  • What do you think will be different about the world when you are an adult?

3. Family Relationships  

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Important reminder: Do engage in these conversations with an open mind! Our kids will feel respected when they notice us acting on their feedback (which, without say, has to also be delivered respectfully). As an active participant in family matters, it’s only natural that they will begin to take pride and ownership in the wellbeing of the family. You’d be surprised at the insights you could get even from the younger ones!

Preschool:

  • What do you like best about your siblings?
  • What’s something you like to do with your family?
  • Why do you think we have rules in our family?

Primary:

  • What is your favourite family tradition?
  • If you could make three family rules, what would they be?
  • Do you think we should treat you and your siblings the same with the same rules?
  • What do you think your parents need to remember about being a kid?

Teens: 

  • What are the most important things we’ve taught you?
  • What should we do more of as a family?
  • Do you think the discipline and consequences in our family are fair?

4. Gratitude

Photo Credit: Coffeeandcarpool

Ask any parent what they would want their kids to be, and ‘happy’ is almost guaranteed to be one of the first few adjectives mentioned. If that is so, then let’s work on  developing gratitude in our kids. As the saying goes: “A grateful heart is a happy heart’! 

Preschool:

  • How did someone help you today?
  • What are some things that you don’t need, but you’re really happy that you have?
  • Which part of your body are you happy you have?

Primary:

  • What do you feel grateful for today?
  • What are some things that you get to do that other people might not be able—or allowed—to do?
  • What are some things that I didn’t have as a kid that you’re happy that you get to have?

Teens: 

  • If we moved tomorrow what activity would you miss most?
  • What brings you the most joy in life?
  • What is something you didn’t like but you are glad happened?

Situation-based 

1. After Being Reprimanded

Photo Credit: Klaus Tiedge via Getty Images

Do a simple Google search and you will easily find a wealth of advice and the dos and don’ts of discipline. Well, what about that slightly tentative period, post-discipline? Use these lighthearted, feel-good conversation prompts to help ease the tension and balance out those residual negative feelings. For teens, do be extra sensitive as to the right time to use these conversation prompts. 

Preschool:

  • What do you think you’re really good at?
  • Would you rather have jiggly legs for a day or the biggest arm muscles for a week?
  • What is the funniest sound you can make?

Primary: 

  • What is a fear you have gotten over?  How did you get over it?
  • What is the funniest joke you know?
  • If you could swim in a pool of any food, what food would it be?

Teens:

  • What is your favourite memory of us?
  • If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  • Which country would you live in if you could live anywhere?
  • Who do you think looks up to you?

2. After School  

Photo Credit: Unsplash

A lot happens during a school day, so do give some time for your kids to process through their thoughts and feelings.  Don’t feel the need to immediately jump into a conversation upon school pick-up!

Preschool:

  • What games did you play today at the playground?
  • Did your teachers do anything special in class?
  • What questions did you ask at school today?

Primary:

  • If you had a camera at school today, what picture would you have taken?
  • Is there anything you were worried about today?
  • What did you learn that was new today?
  • If you could create your own school, what would it look like and what would happen there?

Teens:

  • What was the high point and low point of your day?
  • What areas of school do you feel like you’re doing best in?
  • If you could redo the day, what would you do differently?

3. After Experiencing Disappointment 

Photo Credit: Unsplash

Life is full of big and small disappointments. From your toddler throwing a tantrum because her ice cream melted too fast, to the heartbroken teenager stuck in unrequited love,  help our kids to see the glass as half full, and foster resilience along with an optimistic attitude. 

Preschool:

  • If you wanted to go for a picnic but it started raining, what could you do instead?
  • How do you feel when you can’t get something you really want and how would you react?
  • If your friend felt sad about something, how would you cheer them up? 

Primary:

  • What do you say to yourself when something is hard? 
  • Who do you know that doesn’t give up easily?
  • Do you think people break promises on purpose? 

Teens:

  • What is a silver-lining that you noticed recently?
  • Who is the most optimistic person you know? Would you rather be overoptimistic or a pessimist?
  • Which of your favourite movie stars had to work hard to become famous?

4. Mornings

Photo Credit: Nutureandthriveblog

Help your kids get into the right mindset to begin their day on a positive and focused note by preparing them for situations that they might encounter throughout the day. 

Preschool: 

  • What is something you can do to feel calm?
  • How do you make other people smile?
  • What is your favourite part of each day?

Primary: 

  • It feels good to do good. What can you do to feel good today?
  • What is one way you show love to yourself and take care of yourself?
  • When you woke up this morning, what was the first thing that you thought about?

Teens: 

  • What do you wish you were more motivated to do?
  • Which job do you admire most in the world?
  • What would your perfect day look like?
  • What would you want to be famous for?
Photo Credit: Unsplash

If you’re wondering, “how am I ever going to remember all these questions?”, fear not! Try making a conversation jar (or even better, try making this together with your kids).  The little ones are bound to have a blast pulling their surprise questions out of the jar!

 


We hope these conversation starters will help as building blocks for good discussions with your families, developing your child and fostering a deeper bond between you and your kids!

 

Elaine is a mummy of two who moved from the financial world to become an early childhood educator. She loves travelling, books and her cup of tea to unwind after a long day of diapers, school runs and pretend play.