Children getting hurt from trying out dangerous challenges. Teens receiving unsolicited sexual messages, posting compromising videos and photos, driven to suicide after an online poll.
Parents are often bombarded with these terrifying headlines on the dangers of social media. If your child is between the ages of 13 to 18, chances are they already have an account, or three. In 2017, UNICEF shared that 1 in 3 Internet users is a child. And more than 175,000 children go online for the first time every day.
Since the pandemic, kids have been spending a lot more time on their social media too. While restricting access might not be realistic (our children will invariably find a way to get around this!), we need to shift the conversation to helping them foster the necessary skills to thrive, online and offline.
How Instagram is stepping up
The calls from parents and experts for social media platforms to safeguard the experiences of young people have only grown louder in the past few years. Instagram has responded with updates to empower teens and create boundaries for safer online use.
Since 2021, teens’ accounts are private by default, allowing them to have greater control on who can see and respond to their content. Their content can no longer be shared without their permission, and those that do not follow their accounts are unable to send private messages.
Earlier this year, Instagram also announced options that help to verify the age of their users, and introduced technology that allows them to understand if a user is a teen or an adult. If an account belonging to an adult is reported or blocked by a young person for suspicious behaviour, this account is not allowed to interact with other young people’s accounts, such as following them, leaving comments, or seeing comments from young people on other people’s posts.
My experience with Instagram’s new features
Last month, Instagram went one step further and rolled out its Parental Supervision Tools and Family Center in Malaysia. As a parent to teens who are active on Instagram, I quickly went to work, learning how these could help me guide my teens in navigating their online lives.
Firstly, I needed my teens’ buy-in. One key feature of the tools is that the supervision must be based on mutual consent. Teens can invite their parents to supervise them, or parents can send them the invitation to do the same. Instagram APAC head of Public Policy, Phillip Chua shared, “Our intention is for these tools and resources to strike the right balance between young people’s expectations for autonomy, while allowing for parents and caregivers to support their teen online.”
Are my teens ready to connect?
With two teenage girls, 13 and 16, the conversation on social media in our home began a few years ago. While I was still figuring out how to use one social media platform, my teens have since branched out from our shared platform and explored other avenues.
I am struggling to keep up with the ever-changing trends, and I am not alone. If you are not prepared to get on all the trending social media apps, like the recently popular BeReal, then your best bet would be to help your teens form their own strategies for healthy use.
There are no hard-and-fast rules for the right time to allow your child to connect digitally. In her book, Raising Humans in A Digital World, author Diana Graber shared the following questions that you could consider instead:
- Have they developed the social and emotional skills to use their devices wisely?
- Do they know how to manage their online reputation?
- Do they know how to make and maintain safe and healthy relationships?
- Do they know how to protect their privacy and personal information?
Once you think they are ready, it might be time to set out your family’s ground rules together, and determine the limits and priorities that work for your family. If you need a helping hand in setting some boundaries, here are the 3 main ways Instagram’s supervision tools can help:
1. Time on Instagram
With Parental Supervision, parents can now view how much time their teens are spending on Instagram, even if they are using the account on multiple devices. Not only will you know how much time they are spending on the app each day, you will also see the average amount of time they are spending each day in the last 7 days.
If fear of missing out is driving your teen out of control, you can now set a daily time limit and introduce scheduled breaks, during which, your teen will be blocked from using the app. Parents can rest assured that their teens will get their log-off time on school nights, with scheduled breaks recommended from 10:00pm to 7:00am daily, from Sundays to Thursdays.
Screen time is a tricky issue to regulate in my household. Children learn media habits from their parents, or adult role models, and I am guilty of spending more time glued to my screen than my children. If you are not in favour of setting strict time limits, author of The Art of Screen Time, Anya Kamenetz advised parents to be on the lookout for warning signs instead. If your child is struggling with weight gain, getting into trouble in school, losing interest in hobbies, experiencing sleeplessness, hyperactivity, and problems with friendships, you might need to step in and get your child to take a break and unplug.
2. Connections made
In a 2020 study by UNICEF on the use of social media in children and adolescents in East Asia (including Malaysia), teens shared about being contacted online by strangers. More than half had met someone in real life that they had initially met online. For the most part, these ‘online’ friends are someone their own age, or are going to school in their area.
If you are worried about the friends your teens are making online, the Parental Supervision function on Instagram now allows you to scroll through the followers and following lists on your teen’s account. This enables you to stay updated on any new connections made that week. This snapshot has provided me with opportunities to begin conversations with my daughters on the friends they are making online, the content they are consuming and the interests they share with their online community.
As a precaution, keep reminding your teens not to share certain information with the strangers they meet online, such as their full name, physical address, phone number, school, and password.
3. Reporting
In the same 2020 study by UNICEF, both boys and girls reported receiving sexual messages and images on social media. Few shared the experience with their parents. Another report published last month by UNICEF found that 4% of children 12 to 17 in Malaysia were subjected to online sexual exploitation and abuse. This included being blackmailed to engage in sexual activities, or having had sexual images shared without permission.
The Parental Supervision function now allows your teen the option of letting you know about reports they have made to Instagram, about anyone that has violated the Community Guidelines. Reporting could be made for a number of reasons, but once your teen decides to share this report, you will be able to learn why the report was made and who your teen has reported. This could then allow you to discuss the specific harms your teen has encountered online in greater detail.
Looking beyond risks
Can children can be hurt and harmed online? Of course – but it’s important to remember this happens offline too. Our children are growing up as digital natives, and having their backs as they explore the many opportunities that being online can bring means getting involved, supporting their interests, paying attention, and fostering the skills they might need to be resilient.
This is a sponsored post by Instagram.
Meta’s Family Center serves as a hub where parents and guardians can access resources to help young people build positive online habits, and learn how to use the supervision tools available on Instagram. Learn more at meta.com/familycenter.
