I was waiting for a lot of things prior to my decision to have another baby.
Besides everyone in the family (including my firstborn), there was also another important “thing” that mattered.
I was waiting for my job to be ready.
I needed it to be ready for the pregnancy, and most importantly I needed it to be ready for me to leave it for a long period of time.
As much as I consider myself well-balanced when it comes to work and life, I admit that I worry about how being pregnant and having a child could affect my job.
Too many questions ran through my mind – Would it cause me to take too much leave and not perform? Would people consider me “incapable”?
But, most of all I worried that my job could not be adjusted to meet my requirements as a mother.
One day, I made up my mind. I shoved the doubts and the fear away, and I sat down and drafted a letter to my immediate superior.
It read:
“Dear Boss, I would like to request for an extended maternity leave of 6 months to take care of my newborn baby”.
With a few simple lines, I stepped into her office and initiated the conversation. I remember that I sounded a bit timid at first, and I braced myself to receive the worst response.
To my surprise, she gave me the “yes” without much hesitation.
Next thing I know, HR Department endorsed the letter and I was well enjoying the whole 6 months of extended maternity leave (a part of it was considered unpaid leave, but I was grateful enough).
I was blessed to have such a great support. But sometimes, I think about other mothers who needed the same thing but did not get it.
I have heard about working mothers who made a move as I did, but it is still not a common thing in the Malaysian workplace.
Every time I tell people that I was on a long maternity leave, their reaction was mostly surprised, and many told me how lucky I am to be able to be approved of such leave. It was considered a huge privilege.
I think it is otherwise. In all honesty, I think that it is an absolute necessity for every working mother out there. The average two months of maternity leave has never been enough and I believe that many would agree with me.
For starters, take the confinement period. In our culture, the average length of confinement is 40 days. That is already more than a month.
A mother can only do so much during the first few weeks postpartum. Our bodies are not healed completely to resume all normal routines. Unimportant errands will come to a standstill. All we have to do is take a good rest, but we all know that it is overrated. Keeping up with a newborn baby is actually tough work.
Forty days will be gone quickly, but hopefully with some strength regained.
Then, we are left with only 20 days to get back on track.
A baby aged 40 days is still very young, one who is still dependent on mommy for comfort and security. The night waking will continue and if baby is very clingy we all know how exhausting it could be to the mother.
If we are to continue exclusive breastfeeding when we are back at work, the milk inventory has to be prepared as early as possible. Hence, amid the busy schedule of fulfilling the baby’s needs, we have to discipline ourselves and make time to pump and build up the stock. Some mothers even wake up in the middle of the night to pump, even when they are already exhausted from being awake for direct feedings.
A mother with older children will struggle to get their routines straightened out again, with the addition of a new sibling.
Perhaps there will be extra help, but it always goes back to the mother.
In a blink, suddenly we are back at work again. There is no choice but to console our anxious hearts that the day will go smoothly and the baby will finally adapt to being away from mommy.
So yes, two months is definitely not enough.
Of course not all employers is able to allow a very long leave, but months months has to be the industry “gold standard”. It’s not just about the number of days, but it is also the fact that mothers know that their employers are willing to listen to their needs.
It’s simple – mothers need more time to settle, babies need more time to adapt.
After all, a happy and healthy mother will always translate into a contented, well-performing employee.
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Ayuni is a mum to an effervescent 4-year-old daughter and a newborn baby. She’s currently juggling motherhood and a full-time job while trying to be the next domestic goddess. She blogs about life, parenting and her homemaking endeavours at Mommy Confessionals.
Image Credit: www.pregnancyandbaby.com