I’ve become a bit of a selfie queen and my husband is to be blamed. He rarely takes photos of the little one and me, and the few that he taken are compromising or ugly.
Greasy, flat hair, double chins, closed eyes, random bushes in the background. I’ve got my fair share of #epicfails:
Posed or candid, I want my moments captured. It’s only fair since the 500+ photos in my iPhone are mostly of him with the tyke. My first photo with my newborn son, bloody and wrinkled, happened only because I shoved the camera at him and yelled, “Just take the damn photo”.
Are all husbands like this? My situation seems dire but even I don’t envy my close mummy friend Daphne Lim’s situation. She swears there are only four photos of her and her little one that are taken by her husband Alex. “Any photo he takes is pretty shit. He won’t get up from his spot on the sofa so my double chin is more prominent than it should be. But I take the time to make sure I get his best angle and occasionally compose cute poses of him with the baby,” she laments.
The best of the photos Daphne has must be the one where her husband captured a shot of baby…with headless mum! It wasn’t even a mistake. And I thought I had it bad!
You would think our angelic and beautiful babies would be a favoured model for our husbands. But the photographs of babies taken by daddies could do with some improvement too. “Generally, maybe men aren’t as…sentimental when it comes to making and keeping memories,” Joanna S. Kovilpillai tells me. “He doesn’t like his picture taken so maybe he thinks the rest of us don’t either.”
Ya meh? I know for sure that my husband loves most of the shots I take, especially the candid ones. I mean, he puts my photos of him and our son on his Facebook page. Daphne thinks her husband Alex just can’t be arsed. Yet Alex makes the effort to take the most excellent selfies of himself and the baby. Doh!
By the way, we’re not all social media-addicts. As mum-of-one Lieza Fathi writes: “Take photos for your own keepsake, if not for yourself, then for your children or grandchildren.” Nothing like reminiscing the past during family reunions. And where else will our children get photos from for the dreaded wedding slideshow?
My husband has improved since he started taking yoga shots for my website and Facebook page. I think there’s also a bit of guilt involved.
So, what can be done so we don’t end up being ‘ghost mums’?
Direct him and/or anyone nearby to take the shot
Ignore the dirty looks and whingeing and tell him specifically what to take. Ask other family members and friends too. Oh, and burst mode is your friend.
Accept that photos by Daddy are usually blurry/ugly/compromising/plain ol’ WTF
Unless your partner is an amateur photographer – and I use this term very loosely since anyone who owns a posh camera fancies himself one – we will suffer those terrible shots. Try to find the humour through it all.
Guilt-trip that husband of yours!
It worked in my case so there is hope for you.
Selfie sticks and front-facing cameras were made for us.
Don’t be a control freak
It doesn’t matter if your boobs are leaking, your hair is greasy or you’re wearing ‘baju kelawar’. Baby is screaming, your older child is being an A-hole, the house is in a mess? It’s okay. This is parenthood. One day we’ll look back and think ourselves so effing amazing for surviving it.
By Evangeline Majawat
Evangeline Majawat is a former reporter and public relations executive. She left Malaysia to put down roots in the Isle of Skye in the Scottish Highlands. Nowadays she teaches yoga and has her hands full with her little boy.