If you spend most of your waking hours with a toddler, you’ll likely agree that toddlers are fun but exhausting!
A toddler is active and curious. She has to explore, touch and throw, run and climb, open and shut. And despite her quest for independence, you’ll also find her constantly hankering for your attention and your private visits to the loo a thing of the past.
After three toddlers of my own, I’ve discovered how these delightful punks can drive any mother up the wall. But I’ve also found that with some understanding of toddler development, a loving, purposeful attitude and lots of patience, these tender years are to be truly cherished.
Here are 11 steps you can take at home to make memories you’ll want to capture for always.
1. Have a Routine
Toddlers need order and predictability. Changes can be stressful and cause them to act up. Help your toddler feel more peaceful by being consistent with her schedule for sleeping, eating and playing.
2. Guard Your Home
Make your house as childproof as possible. You’ll relax a lot more when breakables and expensive decorative pieces are kept out of her reach.
3. Organise Your Home
Place books, toys, craft activities, musical instruments and play-pretend objects at your toddler’s height so she can access them easily. Designate specific boxes or drawers for balls, dolls, puzzles and so on. This satisfies your toddler’s need for order and also encourages her to put away her things properly.
4. Encourage Independence
Toddlers are learning who they are and learning to take charge of themselves. Your toddler’s self-esteem and joy will grow when you give her opportunities to become more independent. Allowing her to feed herself, dress herself and make simple choices will keep her more content, minimise her frustration, avoid battles and give her good opportunities to learn practical life skills. Be patient with the mess and time it takes for her to do things on her own.
5. Encourage Movement
Help your toddler develop her gross and fine motor abilities. Let her follow you around instead of restricting her to a gated space or dumping her in front of the television. Bake or fold laundry together. Let her play with ladles and food containers as you cook. If she gets into something she shouldn’t, distract her instead.
6. Be Attentive and Involved
Toddlers vacillate between wanting freedom and longing to feel safe. During these early formative years, you’re still the most important person in your toddler’s life, so schedule activities with your toddler in mind so she gets all the attention and support she needs from you.
My toddler is happiest during our daily “school” time, a time when I deliberately sit down and play with him, talk with him, listen to him, read to him, enjoy lots of eye contact and respond to his other needs without being distracted by the phone, internet-related activity or part-time work (unless it’s urgent). Such activities are reserved for when he plays independently, naps or sleeps.
7. Play Together
Toddlers thrive best in a play-centred environment. Have a reading corner and a place for toys, but also allocate time and space for creative play such as art and crafts, sensory/messy play and imaginary/role play. You don’t have to be an early childhood educator to learn how to play with your toddler in these ways – there are plenty of activity ideas online that you can implement at home.
8. Have a Good List of Activities
Toddlers have short attention span so it pays to have a good resource of activities. You just need a range of good quality toys, blocks, imaginary play items, recycled materials, art supplies, cardboard boxes and books. Variety everyday is important to keep things interesting. Get creative with a pile of cushions (to climb over), a cardboard box (to crawl through), sofa cushions and blanket (to construct a cosy house).
9. Don’t Expect Too Much and Be Flexible
One of the most common cause of problems with toddlers is expecting them to do things they aren’t yet able to do. Don’t force your toddler to participate in an activity of your choice. Give her time to explore what’s available and let her choose. Or suggest two options and let her decide. If it’s something she has to do but she’s resisting, try making a game out of it. Also don’t expect your toddler to sit still for long or share toys automatically with other children who visit. These things take time to learn.
Expect plenty of check-ins and requests for hugs and pick-me-ups. It’s normal for your toddler to keep coming back to you for comfort. If she’s playing on her own, calling in once in a while may help by letting her know you’re still around.
10. Be Positive
Be ready to see the funny side of things. Ignore things that don’t matter too much and be firm on the important things, such as health and safety. Focus on the things about your toddler that pleases you. Rather than saying “no” all the time (“don’t slam the door”), tell her exactly what to do (“shut the door quietly”). View “bad” behaviour as a teachable moment instead.
11. Have Lots of Outdoor Activity
One of the best ways to keep toddlers happy indoors is to keep them outdoors as often as possible. Nature has a tremendous positive impact on a child’s psychological and physical well-being. Go to the park or create a space in your garden to dig and play. On rainy days, go for walks under a see-through umbrella, splash through puddles, or do chalk drawings on the shaded driveway.
Managing a toddler at home can be a tiring business, but the possibilities for play, learning and building a fantastic parent-child relationship are endless.
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Jin Ai traded refugee work for diapers, dishes and homeschooling. She blogs about parenting, home education and life as mom to four kids (one baking) at Mama Hear Me Roar.
Image credit: Flickr user Superhua
